Niggers are retarded. Yes, they are!

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Coontact Tale #1,223 (02-14-2008)

Odd coontact

Ok I just had a nigger student of mine jump in my face and in a Howard Dean like voice yell "YEAHHHHHHHHA" and then run out the classroom. His fellow niggers laughed but I and the non-nig student are baffled.

What is this behavior? Some kind of mental breakdown or am I missing something?

and the reply:

A good way to deal with animal impersonators is to say:

"Clever boy! Can you do a sheep now?" in a condescending tone of voice as though speaking to a five year old.

The class will laugh and you'll destroy this nigger's credibility.

It works, trust me.

Coontact Tale #1,224 (02-15-2008)

Coontact story (a bit long)

Living in Indonesia is freakin' awesome for a niggermaniac.

The other day I was walking with a friend of mine. We were in front of one of the malls here, eating at a side street food stall called a 'warung.'

She started laughing, saying "Look! Look! NIGGERS! Hahaha! What the fuck are niggers doing here?"

Looking over, what do you know! FOUR NIGGER BUCKS! These bucks were obviously of the American breed, different from the Africoon immigrants we sometimes get here. Complete with monkey strut and wearing goddamn FUBU and bling bling all over. Moreover, they had attitude. Africoons know their place (lower than dogshit), and aren't uppity like the american nigger types are. TNB, too goddamn stupid to figure out that "choo aint in Compton anymo muddafuckah!"

Anyway, the niggers started chimping out babbling, "What da fuck choo laughin at bitch?" or the like.

My friend replies, "What the hell did you call me?"

The niggers start niggerbabbling again, cant understand a goddamn word theyre saying from across the street. I notice that the Indonesian "preman" or street guys around us are all staring daggers at the bucks.

So, I said, "Shut the fuck up you fucking niggers"

Grade A Chimpout. The niggers immediately started going nuts and saying they were going to fuck me up blablabla.

One of them started advancing on me. What happened was that ALL of the Indonesian guys sitting around outside got up and advanced on the nigger pack!

They were shouting, in Indonesian, "DIAM LO MONYET NGENTOT! TAI ANJING! NEGRO! PERGI LO NGENTOT!"

Which roughly translates to "SHUT THE FUCK UP YOU MONKEY! DOGSHIT NEGRO! GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE" in english.

Hahahaha, their faces when they realized that they weren't in the States anymore was priceless. They RAN away into the mall as fast as their legs could carry them.

When we thanked the preman for helping out, they said, swear to god, that they weren't going to let monkeys harm good "normal" folk. Sometimes I love living in Asia.

This coontact was enough to inspire me to stop lurking and sign up. After Australia, this realism was refreshing as hell

Coontact Tale #1,225 (02-15-2008)

Selfish Nigger at Blockbuster Video

I wanted to rent this DVD and the Hollywood Video I was a member of went out of business so I went to Blockbuster. I never been here before so didn't know what to expect. Before being a Hollywood member I only rented from local mom and pop video stores until they closed too.

They had a really wide selection so got the DVD I wanted and also a 20 oz soda then proceeded to the checkout. There was a nigger sow holding a giant stack of videos with a buck a few inches away. They didn't appear to be in line since they were standing off to the side. I got behind the person at the register who was now done and leaving. The buck jumped right in front of me before I could take another step and called over his sow, who called over four niglets and two teenapers. I saw these niglets and apers in the store but had no idea they were all related, although they most likely aren't fully biological siblings.

Each niglet had a video and candy in their monkey paw. I cleared my throat loudly and said "Could I go next since I was in line here and only have one video" rather loudly. The buck twitched its head but ignored me and the sow threw the twenty or so videos down on the counter. The cashier gave me a "sorry" look which I replied with a shrug. I didn't think these niggers would have enough money for all these videos and would be on their way soon, allowing me to check out. These were very selfish and uppity niggers I was dealing with so was foolish with this assumption.

The total was $108 for the nigs to check out all these videos. Why would they need to rent so many at once? Instead of ask, I stood back and observed these animals. I've dealt with my share of niggers but these were by far the most greedy I ever dealt with. "Uh hundrud ate dollas? wut da sheeyit?" the sow babbled. "Dat spensuv!"

"Yo beez rungin up dis right lil gurl?" the buck axed the twenty something cashier who gave a polite smile but I could tell she was hating her job right now. After three times of scanning the videos, it still came to the same price but these niggers were still not satisfied so the manager came out, a fat Mexican man.

"Dis lil gurl beez makin a me'take! Aint no wayz no how dis beez uh hundrud ate dollas an sheeyit mmmhmmm!" the sow blabbed with a head bob. The manager scanned it and sho nuff it was $108. The sow was steaming and cursing to her baby daddy. "Dey ova charggin us i no it!" One of the niglets started crying "I beez wantin Daddah Day Care! waaaah!!" "Hush up yo mouth we goin. Dey loss our biznuss" and looked at the manager for any sign of charity.

He stood his ground and wouldn't give these niggers a discount of any kind so they shuffled out. The manager apologized for the wait and gave me my soda for free. I'll be going here again since they know how to deal with such obnoxious uppity niggers.

Coontact Tale #1,226 (02-15-2008)

Fight night coontact..what a joke

So last night for shits n giggles....some buddies and me when to a local bar that sponsors ultimate fighting.
Now dont for a second get the impression that this is the calibre you see on Spike TV, MMA,..etc.
These fighters all thought they were Chuck Liddell or something. No way....nothing but a bunch of fat tub o lards who looked as if none of them had any fight experience or any time in anything resembling a gym.

The one funny thing was seeing all the niggers get the shit whacked out of them. All of the niggers lost. Not a fight lasted more than 30 seconds. One lardo-nigger barely got hit ,fell down..cowered on the mat, face covered with hands. Needless to say he got the shit booed out of him.

Personal coontact:
So 2 dumb fuck niggers with one skank ugly coalburner decided to stand right in front of us blocking our views. For fucks sake I thought. Then one of the shitbags does the TNB of invading my personal space..constantly backing up into me....finally My buddies and me almost in unison...say...."Move the fuck out of they way!!"
Not a chirp or any attempt at a chimpout. He must have known it would not end well for him.
Good nigger.

Coontact Tale #1,227 (02-16-2008)

Al Bundy's Adventures in Shoesales Part 4

Welcome to another installment. I'm up to four stories of coontact from what used to be an all human mall. Sad.

~Last week, I lost rock/paper/scissors and had to help this jigaboo to find some shoes. I helped him find a pair of shoes and everything went fine until we hit the register. The register's modem did not dial out the first time I swiped his card, but it did the second time. Usually when this happens everything is fine, no one has been charged twice when that happens. But no...not for this nigger. I get a call yesterday from the shitskin with him giving me a good chimpout about how I charged him twice and "You'z not know what you doin." I told him that he needs to take it up with his bank, that we only have the one transaction that went through, nothing else. He proceeded to berate me further and told me that he would just take the shoes back. Now, any human would realize that taking the shoes back would not solve the problem...you would still have the double charge on your bill. But this nigger is either stupid or just trying to get his money back because his welfare check already got spent on crack and malt likka.

Coontact Tale #1,228 (02-16-2008)

Iz Goin to Gets My Table

My father [RIP} did furniture refinishing and antique restoration as his profession. I used to work with him when I was 15 and 16. Anyway my father had a explosive temper but afterwards would calm down quickly and act like nothing ever happened. Well a old nigger man had left a table for him to repair [ we rarely had any niggers come in ] The nigger came back to pick up the table and said he didnt have no money but would pay my father latter and he wanted to take the table anyway. My father told him he couldnt have the table until he brought the money so the nigger left. Latter that day the nigger returns with this giant buck nigger about 25. He said " wez goin to take dat table" at that my father explodes and grabs up a wood hatchet and gos after them. The big young nigger ran over the old nigger man to get away and runs off down the street. The old nigger jumps in his car and all the time my father is wacking away at the car and cursing so fast it sounded like he was speaking in tongues. The nigger finally gets the car underway and my father sailed the hatchet through the rear glass on his car. My dad come back inside the shop and in a few minutes acts like nothing ever happened and went back to work.

Coontact Tale #1,229 (02-17-2008)

I've noticed coons have no regard for any driver with the right of way...

they'll just walk across the street even after seeing you from a mile away ,then you're hitting 50 mph and they expect you to change lanes or slow down. Then they LOOK at YOU like YOU did something wrong, this aint underdeveloped africa without laws you damn zoomans!!! this happens all the fucking time!

the reply from a reader:
If any nigger driver, or pedestrian interferes with my right of way, he will hear from me, and I pray that they say something back so I can argue with these shitskins.

One time Shaniqua was trying to cross an intersection with 10 of her niglets on a RED LIGHT (Broad St. & Wallace St.) for those who know Philthydelphia.

I am driving down Wallace St, the Green light just went on, while Shaniqua is walking on Broad St about to cross Wallace St. on a Red Light. This fat slob, has the audacity to stomp her fat ass in front of my car as I'm about to cross Broad St. and has the nerve to give me the simian stare

I put the car in park (there were no cars behind me)

"Are you that fucking stupid? You have 10 kids with you and you want to cross the street on a red light with oncoming traffic? - I said.

She was speechless.

She did mumbled something incoherent to the oldest nigglet and backed off to the side of the street.

"What did you say to me"?" - I asked in an angry voice?

"nuffin" - sheboon replied.

I got back in the car, and still made the green light.

Coontact Tale #1,230 (02-17-2008)

Feral Niggers at the Mall

Yesterday afternoon I went to the mall to buy some shoes at Macy's. As I was walking to the entrance of Macy's, I noticed a large number of niggers congregated outside. Nigger bucks are slouching on the benches; a couple of bucks are sitting on top of newspaper vending machines just like monkeys. I'd say 13 or 14 bucks, and a couple of sows, probably all around 17 years old.

As soon as I started walking their way, the niggers start making siren noises and one of them yells "Nigga alert!". I could see what was happening here, the nigs were trying to scare me. I probably should have turned around but I didn't want to give the niggers any satisfaction so I just kept on walking towards the entrance.

One of the teeniggers got up and started walking directly toward me. I had a very, very bad feeling at this point- like the situation wasn't even real and I was in some sort of bad dream. Let me tell you, being a sitting duck is about the worst feeling in the world.

So what happened? The nigger walked directly in my path, got within about a foot of me and then changed direction. I stayed calm, didn't respond, and walked into Macy's. If the nigger had attacked me I would have been out cold, because I had decided not to flinch or react no matter what the nigger did.

So that's what happened yesterday. Coontacts like this should be happening on the plains of the Serengeti or in the Congo jungle, but unfortunately this was in America, in 2008.

Coontact Tale #1,231 (02-17-2008)

nigger tries stealing a shot...on my birthday!!

Hey all, as I type this I`m super hung-over. Yesterday was my birthday so I went out with a pile of my friends to my local for a good piss up, Everyone`s having a great time (especially me!) and rounds of shots are the norm. We`re crowded around a table and cheering and there`s an extra shot of Jager on the table so this nigger (that no one knew) slides in and says (to me) "yo, happy birthday" as he goes for the extra shot left over. I have no clue who the hell this guy is, so I put my hand over the shot and say "who the fuck are you" he stops looks at me with this perplexed look and says "you don`t remember me" I say "no" he`s all "come on, don`t play me like dat" In response I say "If we go back, what`s my name?" long story short, he got the name wrong and we all told him to beat it (6 large drunk angry white guys, all niggermaniacs I might add!) We actually took it further my calling him a looter and nigger and so forth, a micro lynching almost took place before the pub owner calmed us down (with more liquor) he split, we stayed.

BAHH...niggers, they can ruin anything (well almost)
Addendum: Got to add this just to complete the picture, There`s an office tower across the street with some call centers in it, well this nig was dressed up in dress casual attire (probably a call center nig) so his closing statement after this encounter was "I can out dress you and I can out dance you"! We nearly died of laughter, out dance?!?! like that`s even remotely important to me! Yes nigger out dance me you can, out think and out work, nay!

Happy Birffday To You
Happy Birffday To You
Yo Long-Lost Friend is a Monkey
He Belong in a Zoo

Tom Shelly Responds:

If you consider jumping around to rap music the epitome of dance and ignore the such dances as ballet, salsa, tango, swing, etc. then I guess you would think that niggers can outdance the rest of us. Personally, I'll match a classic ballerina's dancing skills to some nigger rolling around on the floor any day.

Coontact Tale #1,232 (02-17-2008)

My Experience working for CPS !

About six years ago I started working for Child Protective Services in a large city. The majority of the clients are Black and the staff that I work with are mostly Black, also. I cannot even express how angry and depressed I am at this whole system. The racism that I have to endure is nuts ! (I am a white woman).

I was stupid to accept a job in this kind of environment. I've tried to to see things positively and to act accordingly but I have had enough and I will be quitting very shortly.

All these blacks do is call CPS on each other to get the other blacks back for "mezzin wit them". These kinds of calls comprised more than sixty percent of my cases. Your tax money hard at work !

Being in the thick of the city working with these animals, I got to see first hand how they live their lives. Less than one percent work. The majority of them are on some from of aid. They get Section 8, welfare, cash benefits from welfare, food vouchers,etc. You wouldn't believe it ! Truly sickening. Most of them can work, they just choose not to. They lay around all day and watch T.V. or walk down to "da stor".

Things are not going to change for a long time, but for how much longer can we go on like this?

They only live because white people like me get taxed to death to pay for their shit. My state is in debt and the Gov. is going to cut funding for colleges; how about cutting funding for Medicaid and Welfare? Oh no they won't do that !Oh and by the way the family's that I have to go and meet, I have to ask them if they have medical insurance, guess what?, of about fifty families that I have come in contact with, about two had medical insurance ! Yes, they all have Medicaid ! I mean, why work, when everything is being provided.

I get sick when I see all the money that the USA gives to Africa. Why, so these little black children can be healthy so they can have more children that the USA can feed?

What is this country going to be like in 30 years?( My father likes to say to me that I better stand with a shotgun at my door in twenty years because there is going to be a race war) It is a very scary thing to think about. How much longer can blacks pull the race card?

I have learned a lesson from this. I will NEVER work with blacks again..NEVER !

The replies from readers:
A lot of liberals major in social work because they think they can make a difference. One of my best friends did this. He lived in Northern Virginia where the niggers were interspersed with the humans (no central groid population). He told me, and I quote : "I never was a racist until I moved to Richmond". He immediately began turning his career tract toward special needs folks (mentally challenged group homes and such).

My youngest daughter told me that the niggers in her grade (10th) were telling her how to get welfare foodstamps and medical. The were telling her how to answer the questions on the applications. I thought she was kidding me but she swore to it.

Coontact Tale #1,233 (02-18-2008)

general nig experience in deeeeetroit

I live on the very edge of detroit. This city is so terrible. Nigs everywhere. They have broken into my house twice. Stole my car from the backyard, smashed it into my side door and crashed it into my fence. it COST ME 75 dollars to retreive it from the impound! I called the po'lice and they came 6 hours later and didnt do jack-shit. They found the car 2 days after it was stoled. They did not contact me until 6 weeks later. The impound fee was 300 dollars. I talked to a nig supervisor and she actually dropped the price! SUPRISE SUPRISE! A few days later i heard someone (a nig) in the back of the house rummaging around. I called the PO'lice and they came 8 hours later. By that time i could have been dead by the murderous nig. Luckily, a nephew is a dertroit fireman. He said that next time these theiving beasts try to break in, call the fire department and they will immediately send a truck.

Everytime i go to the gas staion, a nig asks for money. They want to pump my gas and sheet. I just ignore them. They always try to bum cigarettes too. What kind of life is it to stand in front of a gas station and beg for change. ALL the stores have plexiglass sheilds, to sheild the bullets. They also have the good candy, behind the counter. Nigs steal ANYTHING! They kill for 10 dollars. WHY? They have NO VALUE FOR HUMAN LIFE!

I can only rent books from a detroit library. All the books are torn, and filled with food stains. The nig staff never mends the books.

I go to an all nig doctor. I am disabled . This week i called for an appointment. I arrived at 9:30. I noticed the sheboon receptionist was letting all the nigs go first. I got mad and said, " I had an appointment , these other nigs are walk ins." She was simply a raysiss. Letting her kind in before me. I yelled at her and told the dr what she did. I get rascism alot.

The whole city is delapitated. It looks like world war two happened here. Many sections once beautiful, have been ruined by non-caring nigs. It looks like a bomb dropped on many hoods. Residental streets have buildings burned, just for nig fun i surmise. Whole streets have perhaps, 6 or 7 houses still standing. Probably crack houses. They dumps couches and trash, tires washers, old burned out cars litter the streets.

and now, theyve invaded the suburbs. Used to be 8 mile was a dividing line. now they are moving up and ruining the burbs.

the only hope? Extract any yts from detroit. Then drop an atom bomb on it. shovel the bodies onto a ship for africa and start all over again.

Coontact Tale #1,234 (02-18-2008)

No niggers allowed

Most of the bars and clubs around here have "Dress Codes" which basically keep most niggers out of the places. They don't allow baseball caps, basketball shoes, untucked shirts, etc. It sucks for the humans but at least you can go to a place and know that it's cool and safe. There are nigger only clubs but they are covered by 5 cops every 20 feet to keep the peace which sometimes works. I went to see George Jones in concert recently and it was the most amazing experience. I saw three nigger roadies setting up (or breaking) equipment and two nigger cops. That's it. only 5 niggers. There were probably 2000 people there. It was awesome.

One other thing about keeping niggers out. I was at a dance club, mostly white folks, when a pack of niggers came in to listen to some rap music and rape our women. Well, AS USUAL, about 5 minutes later they started to fight. The DJ immediately started playing TECHNO. In less than ONE MINUTE about 12 niggers ony-by-one left single file. It was amazing and everyone just stood looking at each other happily because we all just knew what happend. So, apparently Techno, break-beat style music is like roach spray for niggers. As soon as they left the DJ started the regular music and everyone went back to having a good time.

Coontact Tale #1,235 (02-18-2008)

Niggers and Credit Cards

I went to the grocery about noon today to get some sandwich fixings and BEER so that I would be properly prepared to watch the Daytona 500.

Picked out my stuff and went to the only checkout open only to find and old buck nigger shuffling up to the register. The human girl scans its food (koolaid,cheap cookies, pigs feet, etc.) and totals up the sale. The old buck pulls out a credit card and tries to scan it on the machine.

First, the idiot slide its card through backwards. Then upside down, then upside down and backwards. "Dis muhchine beez broke" it says to the checkout girl, who is trying very hard to be patient. The girl then takes the bucks card, slides it properly and hands it back to the aged ape. Guess what??? Yep, DENIED!!!! Nigger says "Dayum, dat caint beez rite". Nigger looks confused at this point, as if it were the credit card machines fault.

"Do you have another card?" the checkout girl asks. "Yeah. I tries dis wun" and pulls out another card. The stupid shitskin put its fucking card in backwards again!!!! How stupid can it be??(never mind, dumb question) The girl, not as patient anymore as a line is starting to form, takes the card and slides it through the machine.

Wait for it, wait, wait ------ DENIED!!!!!

"Day mus beez sumpin wrong wit yo muhchine. I jis goes sumwhere else." The nigger then shuffled on out the door while mumbling niggerbabble. I was surprised by the lack of a chimpout but I guess that this nigger has been denied enough so that it is used to it.

When it was my turn to check out, the very nice girl apologized for the delay and gave me that look that said "niggers". We've all seen that look from humans who deal with niggers.

I paid for my food with CASH and went back to settle in for the race and a completely nigger free rest of the day. Nascar is one of the few sports that is not niggerfuxxated (Congrats to Ryan Newman and his team).

the reply from a reader:
The only card that niggers have that functions is the race card. I do not know why they try, get denied, and think that their cards will "fool" the machine somewhere else. Well, niggers and electronic juju you know. Provided they are actually issued a card other than a secured card, they spend their credit limit on bullshit the first month, then do not pay their bills. Guess who gets to absorb the cost in higher interest fees etc..? Everyone but niggers. It really pisses me off that banks even issue cards to niggers, The only one who wins are the niggers and the banks. Avoid credit card debt at all costs!

Coontact Tale #1,236 (02-19-2008)

Niggers at Ryans

This past Sunday, my dad and I planned to have lunch together. He was on a short timeline, and wanted a salad, so he wanted to go to Ryans. We haven't been there in a long time, and for good reason. "Auuulll choo can eat" buffet restaurants are typically filled with niggers. He said there wouldn't be any niggers there because it was 2:45 and the nigger wave was over. I insisted that the niggers would be in full force, because nigger churches don't get until 2:00 (they practice torture and voodoo after service). Sure enough, we walk in and the line just to get to the cashier was backed all the way to the entrance. I look at him, he looks at me, and we both walk out without saying a word. He then says to me, "We wouldn't stand a chance in there. All the niggers would kick us out of line to get their food first and there would be nothing else.

I said, "Exactly, dad. Now can we go to an all-white establishment like I wanted?"

We ended up eating at a nice local place that was doing a very good Sunday menu: 1 meat/2 veg for $7.65 or 2 meat/3 veg for $10.95. It was a nice meal.

Coontact Tale #1,237 (02-19-2008)

WTF? an all nigger network?

lets start by saying, that I have to use the internet for work purposes. I HAVE to log on, check for upcoming work, and so on... Not only this, but my job/perfession is one of the biggest, most employed, oldest workforces in our country. So I log on and notice that the company has a "all black network" specificly for our "black" employees. What the fuck is this all about??? Isnt this discrimination to me? why do the fucking niggers get their own little fucking site. The whole problem with this shit, is that, If I complain to the workforce, I'll probably be the one to get fired for racism. they can have their own sites, but fuck no if you can have an all white site.
And the fucking niggers get off on this shit. thinking now that they deserve this better treatment. and now that they get it, they should be treated even better. the "all black network" isnt enof. they want more.

the reply from a reader:
Hm - there may actually be a positive angle to this. Think about it for a moment. Do you think they'd really stick to just company business on that? Guarantee you there's a ton of muh dik, shitting around on Myspook, scamming, gossiping between the sheboons and general monkeyshining going on with that "network" of theirs. The higher ups at your company may know exactly what they are doing, and for all the right reasons. Hide and watch - this may get interesting.

Coontact Tale #1,238 (02-20-2008)

Niggers and their bankroll.

One time I was in line at the grocery store behind a sheboon with a little nigglet. The female groid looked to be in her mid 50s, so I assumed she was the nigglets great, great, great, great grandmammy.

Anyway, the sheape was arguing with the young girl cashier about 20 cents on the price of a bunch of grapes. She was very agitated, a fair amount of head bobbing and fairly loud niggerbabble. After waiting a few minutes for the manager to show up, I said out loud "this is rediculous" and gave the cashier a quarter.

DAYUMM!!! The sheboon expolded! "Wha you thank you beez doin! Ah gots ah raght ta shop! Sheeet muthafucka!" ect ect. I loudly said "Well, I have a right to pay for my stuff before the damn store closes!" The ape settled down some, but was continuing on with her monkey chatter as I left my stuff
and walked out.

I almost felt sorry for the nigglet, ad he looked very embaressed at the chimping out of his great, great, great, great grandmammy.

Coontact Tale #1,239 (02-20-2008)

TNB at its finest

Well im in the back of my shop and here BOOOM BOOOOM OOOGA BOOGA
crap music all cranked up. I look out the garage door and see 2 young bucks trying to talk in this pos intrepid. Now i can only assume that his name is Mr Do Not because in 24 inch letters on the doors it say Do Not Block Door and its on all of them and he is in front blocking 2. i walk away just bitching then i here all my guys out front start yelling i walk out to see the intrepid in the same place as the rap concert was put on moments before.and a car pulling out

Well i look and then see 2 piles of garbage on either side. This fucking nigger raked all his trash out of his car in my parking lot on the ground in front of the bay door and left his car to be serviced. well you guys know what a niggermaniac i am. i go outside scoop up all the shit plus some and when his car gets pulled in i notice when the trunks open a duffel bag with what looks like expensive nigger clothes price tags still on. So i wipe the floor with them and put the trash from the lot plus the grease from the floor in his bag. that was 3 days ago and i dare this motherfucker to come back and say something.
sorry for the rant i get pissed when i think about niggers.

Coontact Tale #1,240 (02-21-2008)

first coontact where i live

this summer i was driving home from the store when i saw something strange on the beach. it looked like a pink bikini just floating in a black big spot. as i come a little closer i saw that it was a fat as shit nigger. i almost drove off the road seeing a nigger where i live. a couple off days later i was at home playing johnny rebel on my stereo when i heard it ring on the door. there was the nigger and a nigglet begging for money to charity. i just said does the music i play sound like i would give money to you and slammed the door in their face. i could hear the chimpout outside and i was laughing my ass off. turns out some nigger lover has imported a whole family of niggers that live about 500 meters from me :(

the reply from a reader:
Its common practice around here..When a boon
moves into a new neighborhood it takes it niglets around for
a cash collection for themselves AND to case the area to see
what kind of stuff you've got they can steal later!!!

Coontact Tale #1,241 (02-20-2008)

The Debate.

Today was Mock Debate day.

The topic; Reverse Discrimination.

My opponent: a nigger sow named Ra'shelle (No kidding. That's how it's spelled.)

My grade: 97% A (Minus 2 points for use of profanity, Minus 1 for accidentally 'um' ing.)

Her grade: 32% F (Minus 30 for being unprepared, Minus 20 for plagarizing sources word for word, minus 2 for profanity, minus 10 for grammar errors and another 6 for other errors and ums.)

I had all my facts and questions written. Neatly, saved in files, printouts, and spare copies for the whole class. My answers were clean and clear. Her answers were word for word read from printouts mixed with niggerbabble.

We get to our final question; "When it comes to discrimination, what comes to mind?"

She says; "Well..... um...... um..." (looking at her printout) In the case of the Jena Five......"

(CLASS LAUGHS)

Me: "She beez all smart an' sheeeit."

(MORE LAUGHTER)

SHE CHIMPED OUT.

Not only did she plagarize all her answers and sources, but she forgot how many Jena niggers there are.

Coontact Tale #1,242 (02-21-2008)

TNB in a London bus

(This one is a bit long and not very eventful, but very instructional)

So there was I, on a late winter evening, coming back from my weekly football game cum pub sojourn. This was a weekday, and all I wanted was to get home as soon as possible. My train got cancelled so I was forced to take the bus.

The bus was half empty, and there weren't many people around. I notice a gangly, pock-marked, dreadlocked coon jumping on the bus, saying something to the driver and then moving on to the back of the bus, where I was sitting reading my paper. He sat just next to the only white girl and started his spiel: "have you ever wondered if there is a God?" and so on. The girl ignored him, so he turned to the rest of us. Yes, this was a baboon (let's call him Jeb) on a mission, out to 'save' a few souls that night... Jeebus this and Jeebus that, you get the picture.

Next, a few more people get on, one of them a smallish little shit chomping on chicken wings. He walks past the driver without even acknowledging him, which means without paying or showing a valid pass, and climbs up to the upper floor (I'm talking double-deckers here). Now, usually the driver would just let it go to avoid the chimp out, but this time he shouted at the guy, killed the engine and refused to go on until the bus fare was paid for (they're probably instructed to do so by their bosses). People started tutting, rolling their eyes, and yelling at the fare dodger (not at the bus driver, mind you). Remember this was late evening and not many buses running.

This was too good an opportunity for Jeb: he tells all of us to calm down, and that he is going upstairs to 'negotiate': the retard was on a ego trip, he might have thought he was Koffi Annan an' sheet! Anyway, up he goes, and a bit later he brings down little nig, who's still wolfing down chicken.

Jeb puts on his onstage voice and says he's brought the nig down (let's call him Leroy), but he can't pay for Leroy's ticket because he's out of money, but he still would if he could. In the meantime, Leroy is ducking and diving, finishing his chicken. Passengers are yelling and really getting in his face, telling him to pay up of get off. The coon has the nerve to argue (while still refusing to get off) that if he paid his fares (and I swear he used a plural), he wouldn't have money for his dinners... Well, use your feet then! Or learn to cook! Something was bound to happen, you could feel it in the air...

Right at this point, another nig comes down from the upper deck (Nig Ex Machina?), puts both hands on Leroy's shoulders and tells him "don't argue with them, don't let these people drag you down to their level" (WTF?!), and jumps off the bus, promptly followed by Leroy.

So there you have it: TNB x 3, the finer points of nigger logic elucidated, and confirmation of their delusional sense of superiority, all of them ill in one, 5 mins long event. By and large, quite instructional (and no human was stabbed in the process).

the reply from a reader:
My ex /gf is a bus driver for the city. When the city raised rates A QUARTER, the drivers went on a wildcat strike because they knew assaults by niggers on bus drivers would dramatically increase because of massive chimp outs over a lousy quarter. She was assualted 3 times in one year. Drivers are assualted on a daily basis but it never makes the news. The city keeps it quiet and the drivers aren't allowed to talk to the media or they get fired. You should hear those drivers moan and groan when they get dispatched on a route that goes through niggertown. You'd think they just got sentenced to hell for the day.

Coontact Tale #1,243 (02-21-2008)

Out of high school I was delivering for a printing company, while at a red light in the city, there was this nigger bum in the intersection with a "will work for food" sign. Ironicly, there was a fast food joint on the corner with a "now hiring" sign. I went through the drive through and got an application, went around the block, and gave the application to the begging nigger. It chimped out and threw the application on the ground, curseing me. All that nigger wanted was money!

Coontact Tale #1,244 (02-22-2008)

Jumping Jiggaboo!

I went shopping at this Conns store in a white neighborhood so wasn't expecting to see any niggers here. I didn't see any as I looked at things to buy but my day became a disaster when a most foul stench encircled my nostrils.

It smelled like coco butter and shit combined so I knew immediately that a disgusting mutant nigger animal decided to disgrace me with its loathsome presence. I suddenly developed a pain in my stomach and became nausiated by the foul putrid odor.

To my horror, it touched me and demanded, "Git dat mikawayv off da shayf fo meez naow!", as it pointed to a microwave in a box high up. I ignored this animal and proceeded to walk away. I heard it say "daym crakka beez too gud ta spoke witta nigga aiight!"

I turned to face its direction so I could clearly see this animal as much as my eyes burned at the sight. It was a borderline obese sheboon with extremely tight jeans that had a fat roll sticking out over the top and the nappiest hair I ever seen. Its face looked like the back end of a rhino that included a snout so big I thought a horn would pop out of it at any moment. I then said "You got that right!" and stormed off, feeling good.

A loud banging occured a minute or two later as I was further down the aisle. I looked and this nigger was trying to jump onto the medal shelf that held the appliance so it could reach the microwave. Amused, I stood and gawked at this entertainment. The nig kept trying to jump onto the shelf but kept falling back and almost fell over. An tall male human employee rushed over and asked "May I be of assistance to you" and then got it off the shelf for this nigger. The nig just looked at it for awhile and left it on the floor in a heap. The human had to place it back on the shelf!

I was thinking that this nigger only wanted something it couldn't have and when it got it, it didn't want it anymore. This nigger had the inner chimp come out so it was trying to climb the shelf since it thought it beez a tree in the jungle I laughed all the way home and even called a buddy to tell him. He said he laughed so hard that beer shot out of his nose.

Coontact Tale #1,245 (02-22-2008)

Nigger Throwing Around My Groceries

I went over to Niggermart this afternoon to pick up some groceries for dinner for me and my boyfriend. I only had to pick up a few things so I went over to the Express line. There were two Express lines and of course with my luck I just had to pick the line with the nigger checker (a sheboon to be exact). *smacking myself in the head for my stupidity* I know, I know, I didn't even bother to look who the checker was when I got in line. So I just decided to grin and bear it.

After waiting about 20 minutes (mind you there were only 3 people ahead of me and this was an express line) because niggers, as we know, are lazy and slow. Anyhow, I get to the front, say my normal salutation ("Hi, how are you?"-you know normal human manners) of course the nigger acted like a deaf mute and had no greeting or response. Then the nigger proceeded to throw my groceries over the scanner. Of course a nigger can't just gently scan it like a human does- the nigger has the show off and to show us she got power over whitey. Well, I had a can of soup and nigger throws it over the scanner and whatdoyaknow? She throws it and it lands against the calf of an old woman in the next line and then bounces and rolls back towards the nigger. No apologies to me or the old woman-the nigger picks it up like I am too blind to see what happened. The can had a huge dent and tomato soup was now leaking out of the top. She tries to pull one over on whitey and puts in my bag. "Uhhh...it's leaking and has a dent, I will just get a new one on the way out." The nigger gives me one of those "hell no" glares but doesn't say anything and throws the can to the side. Not a word came out of this nigger's mouth during this whole transaction.

On the way out of the store, I made sure to pick myself up an extra can of soup just for my troubles. I'll show you nigger, and the store that employs you!

Coontact Tale #1,246 (02-22-2008)

A word to the wise...

This is a very brief public health warning. I was in Walgreen's yesterday, perusing their massive array of hair care products, styling products specifically. Along came a teenaper, sporting the usual bagging jeans and oversized hoody, with one of those very short hair cuts in which they carve designs, parts, etc. This teenaper began opening all the various jars of hair gels and putties, inhaling from each one and sticking his monkey paws into them! This was surprising, as it wasn't the "ethnic" hair section and he really didn't have any hair to style. I realized that what he was displaying was probably normal "boon" behavior and that all of these products had probably been previously violated in similar ways by other beasts. I left without making a purchase. Word to the wise, if you buy hair care products in a busy chain, make certain that you select one from the BACK of the row!

A reader replies:
I have seen this behavior exhibited many times in the past. Sometimes, when I'm feeling rather furious, I will go tell an employee that a boon is tampering with the products. Half the time at least the employees go over there and kick the nigger out. But for damn sure, anything that can be opened will be opened by a nigger and used as a free sample. Everyone should pick the products from the back of the bunch to avoid the paws of the groid.

Coontact Tale #1,247 (02-23-2008)

Chimpout at NigDonald's

Ok, so I went up to the local NigDonald's to get something for dinner. Mistake number one, I know, but I just had to renew my insurance so money is tight for a few weeks.

Anyway, I know better than to go through the drive-thru because no one in any fast food joint I've ever eaten at can make a drink that contains less than 90 percent ice, but to get to the counter from the parking lot one has to cross over the drive-thru lane on foot. As I was doing so, some nigger in a beat-to-shit green Ford escort decided it was too hungry to wait in line with the other motorists and tried to sidle its car in front of a work van. Typical nigger behavior; trying to cut in line.

The white guy in the van was wise to the nigger's plot and revved up quickly, stopping about 6 inches short of the car in front of him and effectively dooming the nigger to drive all the way around and wait at the very back of the line as it should have done in the first place.

The result? You guessed it: Category 5 chimpout.

Nigger lays on its horn and starts yelling niggerbabble obscenities, completely oblivious to the fact that EVERYONE in a 100 yard radius was staring at it. The manager comes out and tells the nigger it won't be eating there tonight because of the disturbance it's creating, and goes further to invite it to stay and plead its case to the local constabulary.

Needless to say, the nigger wasted no time getting the hell outta there. The manager will probably get in some trouble for not tolerating this kind of bullshit behavior, but it was worth it to see a nigger get owned.

Coontact Tale #1,248 (02-23-2008)

Bagpipes Work!

Leaving a grocery store, we were stopped at the edge of the parking lot by a groidle of niggers igabbling at the exit of the parking lot. The wife looked at me, I was driving and said, "Crank 'em up. Loud as a bastard." I put some pipe music in the car stereo, selected "The Campbells are Coming" and turned it up as loud as it would go. Then I started accelerating. The niggers scattered. Bagpipes scatter niggers!

A reader replies:
niggers only respond to low octaves, they are repelled by higher ones. it is amazing how instinctual niggers actually are.

Coontact Tale #1,249 (02-24-2008)

Nigger Cashiers at Nig-Mart

So me and my woman were at Nig-Mart and there are a bunch of self-checking lanes. There are swarming niggers everywhere. Next to the self-checking lanes there are two ape cashiers.

I'm scanning the area to find out where the majority of the whites are. There's a self-checking line with about 10 people in it (10 different product orders to ring up). There were three to four niggers in the other lines and maybe a white person per line.

The nigger cashiers were checking about 3 coons a piece.

My woman tried to direct me into the shortest line. I said "NO!" and got in the self-checking line where there were 10 whites in line. The niggers started to noticed and I heard one or two mumble something like "rayciss".

I told my woman to "just watch"....sure enough, ALL the nigger cashiers were still working on the second monkey in line by the time we were checking our order. The niggers in the self-check were talkin' on they sell phawn and shucking and jiving.

The moral of this story: 10 white human beings check themselves out faster than 3 niggers in a line either by themselves or with a nigger checker.

Coontact Tale #1,250 (02-24-2008)

Have enjoyed reading the many humorous posts on this forum, but haven't come across any thread that deals specifically with unsolicited nigger confessions.

Some of my favorites when I lived in Detroit:

1. One day, while waiting for the bus near Wayne State University, a sheboon runs over to me and begins to tell me that she has been held captive at the hospital as part of a genetic experiment in cloning.

2. Nigger street preachers are always good for a confession or two. One told me that he hit "rock bottom" while washing his ass in the Detroit River and watching all his clothes flowing down river. He told me he had to walk butt naked to the nearest shelter to get some clothes.

3. One never knows what confessions a nigger will tell in front of a store. One day, a rather young nigger alcoholic began to cry to me that his prick was only 1 1/2 inches long and that he can't keep a sheboon.

Coontact Tale #1,251 (02-24-2008)

My car is a Niggermaniac

I had almost forgot about this one.

~I was taking my friend home a month or two ago, and I parked my car out in front of his apartment building. My friend was grabbing some things out of the hatch on my car, when we notice this nigger buck "rapping" on da cellfone. At first we thought he was just talking to himself, like most of them do, but we saw the phone in his hand. He was walking in almost a zig zag down the middle of the street, paying no attention to anything. He is walking towards the side of car. So my buddy takes some of his stuff up to his apartment and comes back down to get the last of his stuff, and this nigger just literally walks right into my car! He falls over with a big thud sound, and he actually gets mad at my car! We couldn't understand anything it was babbling at my car of course. Neither my friend nor I could stop laughing and the jigaboo just walked away with its tail between its legs.

My car took out a spook. Therefore...my car is a Niggermaniac.

Coontact Tale #1,252 (02-24-2008)

Nigger Hits The Pavement

Last month me and my girl were driving downtown. Walking directly down the middle of Broadway- a very busy road- was this gangsta-limping nigger. They hate sidewalks for some reason... People were honking and having to drive around this idiot. A guy ahead of us in black truck rolls down his window and yells "Get the fuck out of the road nigger!"

He starts to pull around him and the nigger flips him the bird and starts toward the truck. We had just had a nasty storm and the road was pretty much solid ice. The nigger takes about 4 steps and his feet fly out from under him. It was hilarious- the nigger was actually horizontal in mid-air. He fell flat on his back and his nigger melon bounced off the pavement.

The guy in the truck leaned out of his window and yelled "How did that feel ya fuckin idiot?" He took off. We had hit the red light so we sat there for a minute. The nigger was still laying in the street. He had been knocked out cold his head had hit the pavement so hard. Unable to resist myself I picked up the cell phone and called 911. When they answered I said in my best nigger-voice. "Yeah, I need a muhfuckin ambalance and shit." The dispatcher asked me the nature of the emergency. I said "Dis nigga down heh on Broadway busted his haid on da screet. Muhfucka out cold. He goan git run ova and shit." She said she would dispatch an ambulance immediately.

The light changed and a few blocks later we heard sirens.... I couldn't help it. To funny to pass up the opportunity.

Coontact Tale #1,253 (02-24-2008)

Nigger Clogs Up Toilet (At My Work)

I just got off working at my place of business. A pizza parlor, I ended up going home early because business was slow, all I did was fold a lot of boxes, only took about four orders.

Anyway, about two hours into my shift a buck and a sheboon come in. This was the kind of sheboon with the two foot tall 'hairduh'. Anyway, after trying to decipher all the niggerbabble, I managed to take their order, seat them and get them their drinks and glasses and such. I even turned the TV to BET for them, despite not wanting to.

Anyway, the buck gets up and uses the toilet just as I'm putting their pizza in the oven. About ten minutes later, he comes out with the 'I just did something sneaky' niggersmile, saying: "Uh, I 'tink your toilet be broken, knowultumsayin?".

I waited a few minutes, took their pizza out and served it with their basket of cheesy bread and refilled 'da sprites'. I went into the bathroom. The toilet was filled almost to the rim with nasty shitty water. This buck had taken a big dump and tried to flush over and over, almost overflowing in the process.

I went outside, and very politely asked him, if when he was finished his meal, could he please plunge the toilet. I even said "Take your time."

Here's what I got back for being polite.

"Man, dun youz be workin' here? You do it."

At this point, my politeness wore off.

"Look. I'm not cleaning up your shit. You're a 'big boy', you can wipe your own ass and clean the toilet."

"Man, Iz gonna speak ta' ya manager."

At this time, the manager was running two delivery orders to an Inn about 10 miles away. He'd be at least another ten minutes.

"Go ahead. He'll tell you to clean it up, 'bro'."

"Bro? What you say?'

"You answered your own question."

"Man, you just done lost ah' bizneesss."

They got up to walk out at this point. I just laughed.

"I think KFC is open til' ten tonight. Have fun."

"Fuck y'all."

"There's only me here, mah' nigga."

"White booooyyy."

He tossed a twenty on the table and they left. This was funny, because I didn't even expect them to pay, and the order was only for 12.33. Heh. Not only did the nigger pay, but left a good tip.

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