Niggers are retarded. Yes, they are!

Chapter XXIV | Chapter XXVI | Coontact Menu

Coontact Tale #1,130 (01-19-2008)

I made a nigger cry!

I was out to lunch with my two best buddies yesterday at this nice local owned gyro house. The owner is a real Greek who also serves other tasty food from his country. Another good thing about this place is that I've never seen a nigger here! It always gets very busy around lunch time because of word of mouth since the food is top quality.

We were eating when this extremely ugly and obese sheboon waddles in and first just stands in the door way. Some humans are trying to get in but the sheboon just stood there like it owned the place. I think it was trying to see if any other niggers were in line so it could cut behind them. I've seen the niggers do that a lot! Finally, this nappy headed ho moved and got in line. The humans behind it stood quite a ways away from the coon and I could tell they nearly lost their lunch due to the stench.

One of my friends was telling a funny story so we were so intent with keeping up for the laughs that we didn't notice that the sheboon was now sitting at the table directly behind us. When he was finished telling the story we all noticed the sheboon looking at us like it was listening in on the conversation. The hideous beast was wearing a black and white houndstooth suit that looked specially made due to the at least 40w dress size. My buddy made a crack about the sheboon saying "If I knew that nasty animal was listening to us, I would have made a nigger joke. TNB at its finest, man" rather loudly so it could hear.

I watched as the ape chewed on one of its three gyros and acted like it didn't hear anything we said. The boon's head was down and was trying to keep from looking at us. I said, "I can barely stomach my food with such a foul odor". I glanced at the sheboon again and laughed. It now had tears in its eyes that looked like nigger grease. We could hear sobs from the beast but it just made us laugh louder.

We thought the boon would head bob and niggerbabble at us but it got up from the poor nearly broken chair, gathered up its trough of food and waddled out the door. This table of Mexican humans started laughing like crazy and nodded to us. I felt proud that my friends and I put a nigger in its place that had the nerve to come to a human restaurant. Hopefully this nig and its fellow groids won't show their disgusting beastly mugs here again.

Coontact Tale #1,131 (01-19-2008)

We were watching out the bay doors as niggers are fun to watch.Anyway
walking up the street is a 2 sows 1 coal burner and about 12 satalite nigglets.
they were all carrying bags from the store .one little rug head stops in front
whips his bag on the ground .and this sets forth a complete chimpout by sow
all we here is BOY IM GOIN TA WHIP YO BLACK ASS .well as this time said
nigglet knew what was going to happen and took off running .

Now we have a 300 # sow trying to catch this rug .well sow #2 gets behind him
and bamm hes caught.sow 1 removes shoe but is out of breath and has to hold
the jr criminal until she gets her strength.then procedes to whoop his ass
until she is out of breath again .We are rollin watching this .all other chimps
are hootin and pounding chest until he was beatin into submision .then sow
1 falls putting shoe back on .this was the best. she couldnt get up without
help from sow 2 .coal burnner just watched the whole thing . a day in my life

Coontact Tale #1,132 (01-19-2008)

University Nigger

Guys I had a coontact last night that made even the liberal african histories professor laugh. A nigger in my gradschool world history class (Its well know hes an AA student) launched into a rant abut how europeans/asians/native americans/Hispanics/ ect were driven to 'opree da people because dey are insecure'. When asked to clarify he lanched into a rant about Muh Dik and it being bigger than all others. Here the best comment. ' On Valentine’s, day alls bring dat chocolate candy with dem nuts. Dis so dat the cracker buck can say hes da equal to niggras. Yous know dat dem women wats niggras.'

He went on is this muh dik mode for about ten minutes as everyone else in class tried to interupt him. It was an amazing blend of nigger bable and nigger pseudoscience. He was gross and discusting in his descriptions and cude as he could be. he finaly shut up after being asked (by a woman) how exactly he knew all this. I couldn't do anything but laugh as one stupid thing after another came from this niggers mouth

Coontact Tale #1,133 (01-19-2008)

Winter semester coontact

I go to college in upstate New York, and there are usually a ton of spooks from the city that come up and just waste everybody's time by thinking they can further themselves and make a difference in this world. The only difference they'll be making is increasing the number of prisoners in this country.

Anyway, it snows a lot where I go to school. I mean A LOT. A lot of times you can walk across campus and not run across a nigger. But for some reason whenever it snows, all the niggers come out and get in everybody's way. I thought niggers hated snow, or anything made of water for that matter. Last year when the winter semester kicked in we got hit with a ton of snow. And of course, the niggers were out in full force.

I had a class on the other side of campus, and it took a while to walk there. Well, you know how slow niggers walk? They walk even slower when there's three feet of snow all around. I can't tell you how many times I've been stuck behind a slow moving group of baboons and been late to class. And I don't mean, like, a minute late. I mean 5 minutes late. I can't go around them, or else I'll be waist deep in snow. So I have to tough it out. I'd keep trying to walk around them, but it's like they have ESP. Everywhere I walk they seem to know where I'm walking.

I also have a bigger classload than most of the people at my school, so when I get out of a 3 hour class and am starving and just want to eat, I'd have to get stuck behind a bunch of boons again, then when I get to the dining hall, they'd cut in front of me. Filthy animals! There's a full dumpster in the back with the waste from the dining hall. Dig in!

I can't believe this trash has been accepted into my college. I can't understand a word these creatures are saying. I know a ton of humans who have become fed up with these beasts because of things like this. Every nigger in every one of my classes is always late, never does work, talks shit to the professor, doesn't seem to want to learn, and talks like a 10 year old with down syndrome. Every time one of them opens their mouth in class I just think "Aaaawwww, how cute! It wants to sound smart!"

Coontact Tale #1,134 (01-20-2008)

Nigger's aviation observation...

A few years ago, I had the unfortunate task of working with an AA nigger. His name was Lynwood. He was dumb as a stump, lazy, and well, a nigger. Lynwood was close to 60 at the time. He had a story for everything. If we were conversing about horses, Lynwood had horses and knew everything about them. If the topic was boats, you guessed it, Lynwood had boats and knew everything about them. Lynwood talked slow and had a raspy smoker's voice.
One day we were outside on a break and a military helicopter flew overhead. We all took notice as it was flying low and was noisy. Lynwood jumped on the opportunity to impress us with his knowledge of military aviation. He says,"Dat's one of dem diesel helicopters." Some other niggerbabble ensued but I could not hear the rest as the laughter in my own head drowned out all else.

Coontact Tale #1,135 (01-20-2008)

Niggaz at de gun range! Woo-hoo!!

I'm something of a gun enthusiast, and since I haven't picked up any new items in quite some time, today I decided to go to my local "toy store" and see if anything looked interesting. (I ended up doing my Class 3 paperwork -- an amazingly simple process -- and dropping $4K on an H&K .45 ACP short barreled rifle with a side-folding stock, but I digress).

As I was doin my bidnezz, a gaggle of boons walked in wantin' to be usin' de range 'n sheet. "Yo, we needz to rent sum Glock fo-tayz and two lanez on da range". (I guess they couldn't bring their own, what with the serial numbers being filed off and all.)

This one nig kept trying to look at my driver's license and credit card, which were out on the counter for purposes of my transactions. I gave him an "um...I don't think so" kind of look and hid my cards.

Two things were immediately amusing. One was the look of utter awe on the faces of the apes over the piece I was buying. "Yo Jamal, jes' think ob all de likka stoes we could take dowan wit dat-deah!" Too bad they'd (a) never be able to afford it and (b) never pass the background check anyway.

So off to the range they go. There's a big picture window (hopefully bulletproof) between the store and the range, so I could watch the monkeyshines from a position of relative safety. This is not the first time I have seen this particular brand of TNB, but it never fails to amuse.

For those unfamiliar, nigga target shooting technique involves the following: A big, stupid, gold-teef grin; no aiming (i.e. gun at mid chest level with a loose, sloppy 2-hand grip); rapid-fire trigger pulls that cause the slugs to spray all over the place without concern for target acquisition; and a great deal of excited ook-ooking and keek-keeking from the onlookers.

From my safe position it was f-in' hilarious, but this is just one more reason to stay away from de ghetto maing. No wonder all those little kids are always getting caught in the cross fire.

Coontact Tale #1,136 (01-20-2008)

"Bad Newz" Nigger boyz

Hi all, this is my first thread, and I want to tell you a coontact tale in Newport News, VA ("Bad Newz" in niggertalk). So anyway, I was at the mall and there were three young nigger boyz dressed in their nigger clothing, one with cornrows and a 2pac shirt and baggy red pants, another buck with a shirt with welfare stamps on it (I'm not joking) and one with a cap on correctly had these immature red-light flashing shoes.

The nigger with the cornrows and 2pickaninny shirt was talking some niggibberish that at first I couldn't understand, but the I could make out some sentences, like how it was in the "Raintrees" (I guess that's a nigger gang).

Next, the nigger with the cap said it disliked the Raintrees, and an argument broke out between the three. The nigger with the welfare shirt said "yo dawg" and for some stupid reason the nigger with the cornrows threw A CHAIR at the welfare shirt nigger. The welfare shirt nigger then took one of my books that I purchased and slammed it into the 2pac negro's face. The cap wearing nigger chimped out and slowly walked away, but the 2pac loving negro chased after it shouting, "You issultin' mah CLUUUB" several times, and the welfare shirt negro chased after them, with my book. I told a policeman about the incident, but the niggers were never caught. And on top of it all, I had to buy a new book. What a night!

Coontact Tale #1,137 (01-21-2008)

Nigger Buck Spit Chewing Tobacco At Me

Earlier I went to the grocery store on my motorcycle and had gotten lucky and found a parking spot near the entrance. I bought a bit more than my saddlebags could hold and was trying to figure out how to cram it all in when this ugly as sin nigger buck leaned on its horn right behind me. It startled the crap out of me to be honest and I spun around quite annoyed. The nigger yelled "hurri up Iz wants da spot". I told it I had to figure out how to fit all this in the bags and it would take me as long as it took, and I turned back to continue putting my stuff up.

The damned nigger honked it's horn about a dozen times and kept yelling crap like "hurri up whut takin so long fuk u gunna be all days or whut?". I finally turned and yelled back to it "yes, I'm going to be all day so you might as well go find another damn spot". It started to chimp out and was cussing and going on about how oh no I didn't say anything to it so I cut it off and said "you're being an asshole so I'm not going to rush for you". The nigger buck was chewing tobacco and when I said that the bastard spit the shit at me. It didn't hit me but came damn close.

Now all this had drawn the attention of the human males in the parking lot and several had already started coming over. I was so pissed that I scooped the shit up (I had my gloves on already since it was cold out) and threw it back at the nigger. It hit the coon right in the face LOL!!!!! It totally chimped out and started to get out of the car but the human men had reached me by then and they were yelling at it so the nigger peeled out and took off instead. One of the humans screamed after it "you better run you fucking nigger!". They waited till I had the bike loaded and followed me out of the parking lot to make sure that nigger was gone and I wouldn't have any problems.

Damn rude nasty niggers. Can't even go to the grocery store without having to worry about them starting shit.

Coontact Tale #1,138 (01-21-2008)

Typical TNB while shopping...

I went shopping last night with my mother (needed more than one cart on this trip). It wasn't exactly crowded, but there were definitely plenty of people. As I was stopped and someone started down the aisle, I do what any other respectful guy does. I move my cart further to the side of the aisle to let them pass and say "Sorry." I do this so much it might as well be instinct, and I almost always get the same response: "Thank You" (or some derivative of it). Only once of the several dozen times I got out the way did I not get any words of appreciation. You guessed it, the time a nigress passed by. Not even an appreciative smile, or any glance over to me for that matter, just a look of doped up ignorance that screamed: "Yo not gettin' sheet fum muh azz, crakka. Ebbyone best be mubin' out da wayee fo' me."

I just felt lucky she was a crack whore and not some 700-pound she-boon.
Three large sections of a human body, on sale for 1.39 each (plus tax).

Just more proof of how "cull-terd n' cy-buhl-ized" niggers really are...

Coontact Tale #1,139 (01-21-2008)

Overheard Nigger Conversation: Wifebeating
Overheard these two sheboons talking at work,one of them:"It was either him or me...he woulda killed me." The next responded with a story of being knocked down..."and he started kicking me.I was 8 months pregnant at the time...but I stayed wit 'em..." Well sir,thats the gist of the story,I didnt want to be seen eavesdropping,so thats all I heard. Mighty interesting story!

To which Bonecrkr replies:

I'm trying to emphasize something here. I know many niggermaniacs who are, for lack of a better word, "soft". This is not a problem when your average, full blooded, gangsta crack addict nigger comes along. You'd truly have to be a fool to allow someone like this anywhere near you or your family.

No. The trouble starts when you meet Harold T. Oreo. My friend Harold never lived in the black neighborhood. His grandparent or even one of his parents, is in fact white. He acts white. Talks white. Dresses white. And seems like a normal human being.

And one day, he meets your daughter. You roll your eyes and try to re-emphasize the values you taught your daughter. But, she's emphatic. Harold is "different". But, what you need to know is that Harold most certainly is NOT different. He's a nigger. You just can't see it yet. You need to get rid of Harold.

For example. Growing up, I had a friend who had much younger siblings. Boy, did he hate niggers. Hell, he'd get my ass in trouble in school as we got caught looking at his latest explicit drawing of his favorite superhero "Niggerman". He was quite fond of calling them niggers to their face too. And his father was the same way.

Fast forward about 20 years. My friend's young sister is blossoming into womanhood. And one day, she brings home her friend, Harold T. Oreo. Now, no one said anything to his face. But, there was a HUGE argument behind closed doors over this nigger. But, Harold was different. THEY LET IT SLIDE!

Do you want to know what happened? A few years later, Harold was gone. He left behind a little piece of himself. That's bad. But, what he also did was brutalize this girl in the worst ways imaginable. The child was actually the result of a rape. Worse, he had gotten this girl hooked on crack cocaine and was pimping her out to others. She had disappeared for 2 months before my friend finally tracked her down. He also had a little confrontation with Harold (to this day he will not talk about it).

Anyway. I hope people understand that I meant what I said. They are ALL like this. Every last one. Even Harold. You can't let it slide.

Coontact Tale #1,140 (01-21-2008)

I just got into the dumbest fistfight in history

About 30 minutes ago I was walking back home from the store ( I needed a bottle of wine for dinner). As I am coming down the sidewalk to my house I see the two niggers who live 2 buildings down pushing their shitty 92 Cavalier backwards down the driveway towards the street. Apparently the piece of shit isn't running again today.... One nigger in is front and the other is on the driver's side. I couldn't tell if the drivers door was open, it looked like he was pushing on the windshield.

Well I hear a big ass diesel engine behind me and see one of those brand new Dodge Ram monster trucks hauling ass down the road. It was only maybe 50 feet from the entrance to the driveway and the scenario played out in my head in about .5 seconds so I yell out "Hit the fucking brakes!!", at the two niggers.
The one on the drivers side snatched the door open and slammed on the brakes, but there is ice and snow everywhere and the Chevy slid out into the street. The guy in the Ram swerves and misses the bumper by no more than 6 inches...

I walk up to the nigger in the drive way and say "Jesus Christ! That was fucking close!" This piece of shit looks at me and says "Mind your motherfucking bidness cracka!"

I am completely stunned. I will never understand the animosity, uncilvilzed behavour and sheer fucking hatefullness of niggers. I yelled out from concern and trying to stop someone getting killed and this nigger insults me. Unbelievable. Most whites would have scurred away, but I apparently don't have much sense, so I fire right back,"Go fuck yourself nigger!" Nigger #1 blasts me in the eye, and I slip on the ice, falling on my ass. He jumps on top of me and proceeds to pound the shit out of my face.

Nigger #2 runs up and starts kicking me in the side. This was getting bad. I had the red wine in my right hand I had purchased for our dinner and smashed into the side of the his fucking nigger head. The bottle breaks and now I have glass and wine all over my goddamn face. Nigger #1 rolls off of me holding his head. I jump up and tackle nigger #2 and gave the motherfucker everything I had. I spent 8 years in the joint and this nigger was in for a taste of one angry white motherfucker. I hit him maybe 10 times as hard as I could in the face, bouncing his head off the sidewalk.

And of course, since I am the luckiest man on earth, a city cop on patrol rolls up and jumps out of his squad car, pulls out his piece and starts screaming for everyone to get down and blah blah blah.....

Well two more cops join the fun, along with an ambulance, and everyone is in handcuffs sitting in the snow. As usual the niggers are saying I called them nigger and attacked...you know the routine. Apparently God decided not to fuck with me today because a young hispanic woman and her 12 year old daughter who live in the same building came out and told the cops exactly the same story I did, that the niggers had jumped me...

So the niggers went to jail, my eye is swelled up, and now I have to go back to the liquor store for more wine. What a fucking day.

Coontact Tale #1,141 (01-22-2008)

Parent's coontact

Recently, on a trip to a local shopping center my father and brother were witnesses to a coontact with a happy ending. I thought sharing this would make everyone's day. A white woman walking a little ahead of my father and brother in the parking lot was nearly run over by a sheboon (behind the wheel of a BMW no less). My father and brother probably expected the white woman to meekly proceed on her way, which she may well have done had the shenig kept her trap shut. Well, in a true assholish sense of entitlement the nigger started to chimp out at the white gal. Then the most delightful thing occured. My father told me the white woman shouted for all to hear "get outta my way you goddamn nigger!" The white woman then received a big thumbs up from my father and brother(both unregistered niggermaniacs). This did my nigger hating heart good to hear.

Coontact Tale #1,142 (01-22-2008)

Emergency Room coontales

I have a girlfriend that works in a small hospital as a ER nurse. We had worked in a larger hospital but left for reasons (to be told another time) and she picked a smaller hospital because the bigger place's ER had niggers ALWAYS CAMPED out with their nigga troop. She didn't want to deal with that.

The problem is that this smaller hospital is now on the edge of the great nigger expansion. What was once a nice middle class environment has degraded to run down malls, nigger infested fast food joints, etc. The one thing the hospital had going for it was that it was small and was off the beaten path. Undetected it was nice clean and quiet. People were happy with the service. The wait was short and the people coming in needed help. (i.e. heart attacks, severe cuts, broken bones)

THEN THE NIGGAS FOUND OUT ABOUT 'DAT PLAZZZ'!!!

In a short period of time more and more black people started coming in. The waiting time has gotten longer and longer. My girlfriend comes home and tells me stories that are amazing. In a nutshell here are a few.

1). Nigga buck comes in 'fo da pain in da belly'. Screaming "ya'll aint doing shit for da pain". Screaming and demanding a shot of morphine. Yet when my girlfriend come's forward and tells him she needs to get a blood draw, he recoils and starts babbling about how he's afraid of needles.

2) On sunday a nigga grandma comes in. About 50 to 70 nigga's come into the waiting room with their hardys bags of fried chicken to see the granboo, thus taking up all the seats and making other visitors to the ER stand. When they leave most of the boxes and chicken bones are left on the floor and gravy and bones on the seats.

3) Niggas come in because they 'diabetic an shit'. Complain that no ones helping them yet they don't check their blood sugars, don't take their insulin and most who are 250+ lbs. waddle or rascal scooter themselves over to the complimentary cookie area. (along with the obligatory niglets who are picking their noses, scratching their asses and touching both the cookies they are going to eat as well as the ones they call 'nazty')

4) There is a suggestion box for people (patients and visitors) to give input. most decent people write in good suggestions (i.e. a special sheet for people to sign out letting staff know that they are outside smoking and can't hear the overhead pa system) to special thank you and that staff does good work. Guess who writes in "you needz ta hab mo peanut butta cookies" and "you needz ta hab hot soup n shit" and "you needz ta hab chineze food".
like it's a food mart and not an ER.

I hope you have enjoyed these little nuggets. I forsee more tales coming down the pike. Da niggas now know of an ER where theres almost no wait ( wait times are increasing since more niggers show up and don't leave) and free cookies.

Coontact Tale #1,143 (01-22-2008)

Happy James Earl Ray Day

I was at startbucks today getting a coffee to jump start my morning when i heard two niggers talking about MLK. The manager of this sartbucks was also a nigger so naturally he joined his fellow chips in there conversation. I quickly paid for my coffee and headed for my car. As I was leaving I over heard the words "whiteboy" witch was soon accompanied with the sound of monkeys laughing. This got me very heated as Im having a tough week on account of my GF of two years dumping because i couldent except the fact that her sister was going out with a nigger.

Getting back to my storey, as I was pulling out of the parking lot I rolled down my window and shouted MLk is a dirty nigger just like you guys. This caused one of the biggest chimpouts I have ever seen and lifted my spirits. I encourage all of you to put a nigger in its place today so long as you dont put yourself in harms way.

Coontact Tale #1,144 (01-23-2008)

LMFAO Dumbest Niggers Ever!

A week or two ago on "Cops" there was a segment about two niggers who committed a B & E while the family inhabiting the house WAS STILL HOME. So the family called the fuzz while the niggers were ransacking the place. The cops surrounded the house, got the niggers out and handcuffed them. Naturally they were both felons. Nigger #1 kept shouting "What Ah do?" Friggin' priceless.

Coontact Tale #1,145 (01-23-2008)

McDonald's Coontact

When I was in HS and college, I worked for McDonald's. Ours store was staffed by all white people (the manager never hired niggers) and we all got along great. You always knew when a nigger would be getting food because they would want a McChicken with only cheese and ketchup, french fries (mak sho dem fries iz hot!) and an orange drink, no ice. One time this nigger bitched she wanted a fresh 20 piece McNugget (make sho dem nuggets iz hot). So we pulled nuggets out of the waste bins (you have to count the food that was not served in a timely basis before you threw it away so that your invetories were correct) threw them back in the fryer for a few minutes, dumped them out right into a box then put them into the McDonald's microwave for 1 minute. One minute does not seem like a big deal but 1 minute in a McDonalds microwave is equivalent to a half hour in a normal one. All I knows is that dem nuggets wuz hot. I never go to fast food joints anymore since it seems that hard working white kids no longer work in them. When we were there, we all had pride in our work but knew we all had hope to continue on with great careers once we graduted from college. Now you have lazy sheboons with they curled up talons on they paws and the big dumb ass bucks who cant get an order right.

Coontact Tale #1,146 (01-23-2008)

I once went to visit a friend at an alcohol rehabilitation facility. Before I left I was working out in my garden where I grew some HABANERO peppers. So I decided to take some with me. My friend and I acted like the peppers were sweet and that we were actually eating them. The next thing you know, a nigger asks if she can have one. At first we act reluctant to give this nigger crack whore one. Finally after a minute we gave this she-boon a HABANERO pepper to eat. Immediately after it hit her mouth she was jumping up and down like a riled ape. My friend got reprimanded for our actions but, it was well worth it to both of us.

Coontact Tale #1,147 (01-23-2008)

ER sponsors a nigger christmas family

Do you want to hear a good one?! Well, for this past Christmas, our ER staff sponsored a "family", a "poor", "unfortunate" family that needed a little extra help for Christmas. Well, guess what!! It was a family of baboons!

The general idea was to extend the Christmas spirit and help some poor, struggling family survive the holidays. Do you know what these apes asked for?

Instead of diapers, necessary warm clothing, etc., they axed fo' DBD playas,
Ipods, you get the general idea. There were about 12 in the bunch, including the niglets, no father, naturally. I was so disgusted, I refused to contribute.

Coontact Tale #1,148 (01-23-2008)

Another Army coontact

I ran into a guy that was in my old unit today at lunch and we started talking about some of the memorable things that happened. He reminded me of this one coon who caused a lot of problems for everybody around him. (Don't they all?) My buddy may not be a full fledged niggermaniac, but he is close to it from the things he experienced in the Army.

One nigger NCO (Non-Commissioned Officer- Sergeant or above) in the company was a real piece of work. He was always a hair away from a chimp out and regularly threatened soldiers in his section. He would say things like: “If youz such a bad muddafucka, why don’t we take off our rank and fight man to man.” He said it to just about everyone in his section (mechanics), which was mostly male.

Well one day, a human SPC (Specialist) got tired of his threats and decided to tell the 1SG about it. He went in and basically said, “He keeps threatening me, I’m going to meet him outside to fight, but I’m going out there with a torque wrench in my hand.”

That SPC was immediately transferred to another company. This was when my jigaboo 1SG had already arrived, so it shouldn’t have surprised me that nothing happened to the nigger with the attitude.

Before that though, boon boy had invited two female Privates to his house while his wife was out of town. He screwed them both that night and also continued an affair with one of them until another Private caught them while the whole unit was in the field.

What was the nigger’s bright idea to do to the girl that caught them? He threatened to kill her if she told on them to the 1SG. The girl was smart enough that she recorded what he said, and didn’t go to the 1SG, but sent the tape to his wife instead. She of course chimped out, took the kids and left.

He also had a ridiculous nigged up SUV. It had one of those paint jobs that changed colors. To me, it made it look like a giant easter egg because of the colors he picked. Dumb nigger.

The reply:
It was common to see filthy niggers with beards. They claimed they had Psuedofoliculitis and wouldn't shave for weeks.

The average civilian that has never served a few years in the service may be mislead in to believing that niggers are somehow well behaved in uniform. Some tales of woe that I experienced with niggers in the service have been discarded as a stretch of the truth or total BS.

All I can say is the nigger in the service is in many ways more dangerous than the average street nigger we bash here. The nigger in the service has rank and position, his superiors are deathly afraid of there own career and promotions. Niggers get away with 10 times the shit as any white guys do. If your a low ranking nigger and your Plt Sgt/Plt Cmdr/1stSgt/Co is a nigger you have it made.

Niggers are a detriment to readiness, good order and discipline. The Brigs e filled with them along with Correctional Custody Plt's. The belligerance, disrespectful tones, lears etc are common responses to appropriate orders as are given from time to time by superiors acting in accordance with the Uniform Code of Military Justice.

I've had junior ranking niggers blatantly disregard orders then when charged the nigger leadership would "take care" of the punishment off the record in other words nothing happened. I will never work directly for the Federal Govt ever again. Niggers suck in and out of uniform.

Coontact Tale #1,149 (01-24-2008)

He Got There First

Years back when I worked at a new car dealership one of the service writers was a nigger. Anyway one day he was playing this MLK tape and after it got to the part "I may not get there with you" I Loudly said "yea that nigger got there ahead of everybody". The shop erupted in laughter and the nigger service writer was really pissed at me.

Coontact Tale #1,150 (01-24-2008)

A thirsty nigger

A while back I worked for a company that traveled around the U.S. building hotels. There was a nigger who got hired on to our crew, who we all simply called "nig". On a weekend that the crew had off, nig was reluctantly allowed to ride back to Illinois from Wisconsin with us. During this 9 hour commute nig had fallen asleep with his bottle of mountain dew on his lap. We decided to give him a refill of piss and carefully set the bottle back on his lap. Meanwhile we decide to turn the heat on high and point all of the vents in the van toward him. When he finally woke up, he had very bad cotton mouth and was terribly hot and sweaty. nig opened his bottle of mountain dew and began voraciously chugging it. All of a sudden nig removed the bottle from his nigger lips and looked at my friend Tim and said "Dude, did someone piss in this". Tim quickly replied "Oh no, you did'nt drink that did you?" Needless to say we had to pull the van over because every one was laughing so hard that we couldn't see straight.

Coontact Tale #1,151 (01-24-2008)

A Negress on Parenting...

I was on the "El" here in Philly the other day, and had a typical encounter with a she-boon and her four niglets. The negress in question was agitated from the time she sat down--whether from crack or a chance encounter with a shiny object I don't know.
At any rate, the nigger started talking to another ape about how she was on the train the other day, and...well, I'll just quote her:
"I wuz talkin' to my kids, I said 'I'll kick your asshole you motherfucker' [yes, like a nigger she made the phrase 'kick your ass' even more vulgar and also accused her own child of fucking her]. I tol' my kid to shut his mouth or I'd beat his ass like a damn dog. Den dis white motherfucker in front, he start shakin' his head."
This is where she started staring around the car at the humans present.
"I 'tol this white motherfucker, whachoo lookin' at? Deese is MY kids! I talk to 'em how I want!"
Sadly, the white man in question didn't pursue the matter further by pointing out that he was paying for the upbringing of those kids, or at least she didn't mention him saying so.
I admit not saying anything, either, since she had an audience of bucks and I was unarmed.
If you think the apes we deal with now are bad, keep in mind we'll be living among today's niglets 20 years from now, when they're toting guns and relying on the "wisdom" they learned from parents like this.
PAY THESE FUCKING BABOONS TO HAVE ABORTIONS!

Coontact Tale #1,152 (01-25-2008)

My Friend's Coontact

Short, but sweet. My friend is a repo man, and naturally, 99.99999999% of his reposessions are niggers. He told me about the repo he picked up on nigger day (MLKoon Day).

He was actually handed the key by the nigger because the nigger knew it had been found and the nigmobile was already hooked up to the truck (and because my friend is 6'5" and 300LB). As the nigger hands him the key, it babbles, "maing, yoo raciss, takin' muh shit on a holiday."

My friend laughed at him and says, "holiday? Today's a holiday?? Everyone I've seen is working except you!", and drives off with the nigmobile.

I would've loved to see the look on the nigger's face.

Coontact Tale #1,153 (01-25-2008)

Disgusting Coontact in the Subway Train

I was in Naples yesterday and I took the subway to reach the college division in the hospital, where I had a job meeting.

If you're never been in Naples, you don't know what it's like. Nowadays there's a problem with the trash, because of the Mafia controlling it, and it's like an open cesspool. Yeah, like a Coontown.

Anyway, I take the subway and inside the train lo and behold there is this hideous she-boon standing on its feet. She boon was the typical nigger sow: fat, ugly and... Smelly.

Very smelly.

Yesterday there were like 5°C outdoors and this nigress was barefoot wearing open sandals. I don't know what is it with niggers and sandals. It seems they just can't keep shoes on their smelly feet.

She was not that far from me. And the nigger stench was palpable. The worst had yet to come, though.

At some point, I smell shit. I think, Good God, the nigger sow farted. Nope. The nigger sow clearly shat itself. And the stench didn't go away, it actually just got stronger and stronger...The train was packed, I felt like suffocating.

I immediately tried to move away, but the train was packed and there wasn't much space left in the cabin to move away. I kept staring at that disgusting she-boon with eyes filled of hate and disgust but she didn't notice. She didn't even notice people were taking distance from her, some laughing, some cursing, some calling her nigger.

Actually, the nigger sow did nothing. Zero. She stood there, in a completely soulless stare, emotionless face. She was lightly leaned forward in her posture, like an ape would, with her arms almost reaching for the knees. Emotionless and soulless. Like a whale of wood. Actually, a whale of shit.

And that was it. I kept wondering how some people dare to consider these subcreatures equals to humans. Even an educated dog or a cat can hold a shit. But no, hell, not a nigger. When it's time to drop its guts, the nigger can't even hold it like a fucking dog

Coontact Tale #1,154 (01-25-2008)

SheBoon made me drop my 12 Pack

After work I stopped off at the grocery store for some things. Of course all the checkouts were staffed by groids. The fat assed she-boon that rung up my order was so fucking slow I thought she was in reverse. The line behind me was 5 deep by the time I got up to the register. Of course she was too fucking lazy and slow to bag my shit so I did it. I was so fucking pissed that I dropped my 12 pack of beer (bottles) and the shit exploded all over the floor and my pants.

My blood boils around niggers anyways but when they get that "I'm movin at my pace" attitude I just fucking loose it. At least I got another 12 pack and got the hell out of there.

Coontact Tale #1,155 (01-25-2008)

In Texas there are lots of these Sonic drive-ins like they had in the 50s. You drive up to the parking lots that all have a menu with a speaker to order what you want. I don't go here much because the food is very fattening and I'm currently dieting. I was in the mood for a shake that I saw advertised on TV in one of their very funny commercials where this white couple are acting off each other.

The closest one to me is in a nice area and I don't see many niggers, but wouldn't know because I eat in my car while parked. The waitress that serves my shake is quite attractive, though a bit young, so I give her a tip while smiling. I start sipping my shake and suddenly hear some niggerbabble so I look to my left and two teenapers are walking over to the picnic area. It's too cold to eat on those so they were empty. There is a speaker by them for walk-ups. They were dressed like cRappas with upside down caps, big expensive Nikes, matching tops and pants made of parachute fabric (even though it's freezing outside ), and sunglasses (even though the sun isn't even out! ).

One aper said to the other "Wut yo beez hongrah fo, Nig-Nog?" I can't help but laugh in my loud obnoxious laugh I have when I really find something LoL! The apers both looked at me with their mouths open and one said "Wut dat crakka find so funny?" and more babbling. I just backed up and left right away in case they try to mug me, you can't be too careful around these nigger animals. I had no weapons with me for defense. I just laughed the whole way home. ROTFL!

Coontact Tale #1,156 (01-25-2008)

Oh Lawwwwww

Last year, husband was having some stomach problems (nothing more than IBS) but to err on the safe side (and because that muddafukker has good insurance) they decided to "gib hims ones of dem upper GI scans"

Bascially, they give you stuff, inflate the belly and look for signs of trouble while taking X-rays. So he didnt get to eat nuffin after 12 midnight and nothing before the test was run. So you know in all my love, I had to eat in front of hims before the test. (I had an apple bran muffin) Just eat that big ol muddafukker right dere. I couldnt really hear anything, cause of the rumbling in his belly.

So we head to the hospital to get this test ran, he goes in and in like 20 minutes, comes out almost in a dead run. I ask him what the hell is going on and he says "We gotta get the hell out of dodge" Personally I thought he'd robbed the place. When we get to the car he tells me this story.

I went in and they had me put on a robe. About that time, this HUGE nigger sow comes in to have the same test ran. She must have been 500 lbs, HUGE nigger. She's so fuckin big that they had to get 2 robes and tie them together to make 1. They give me some stuff in a dixie cup, bout a teaspoon and some chalky tasting stuff. I was to take the crystals in the cup and wash them down with the other stuff. It was to make gas in the stomach. They give me a teaspoon of this stuff and give this nigger 4 FULL cups of it. She just swallowed that shit and never said a word more. By the time I got done, I could feel the pressure of the gas building up in me. The nurse told me that "Dont worry, this gas has to come out one end or the other, nothing to be embarrassed about" They have dressing rooms like bathroom stalls, must have been 4-6 stalls and 2 exam tables. By the time I got to the table to be examined, well, lets say I'd had several outbursts of flatulence (a fart for those of you who didnt know what that word was). But this nigger, she never had one, nope...not a peep. Remeber she had taken at least 10 TIMES more of this stuff that I had. They put me on a table and leaned it back then used the second table for this giant ape. She was soo big that they had to get orderlies to help ease the table back and to move her back and forth to scan her. I get done with the test and went in a cubical to put my clothes back on, and this nigger gets in the one directly beside me.

All at once, I heard a rumbing and she cuts loose with the longest, loudest fart I'd ever heard. It shook the door of the stall, I mean this went on for a good 45 seconds, constantly.....BRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAPPPPPPPPPPPP. It gets real quiet and all I hear was OH Lawwwwwwwwwww. One of those wet sounding farts too. I figured this nigger had shit all over herself and I for one didn't want to smell it. So I got the hell out of dodge.

Coontact Tale #1,157 (01-26-2008)

Coons in Court

One of my last acts as Loss Prevention manager for a big box chain was to prosecute 2 niggers and got a nigger cop a verbal ass-chewing by the judge.

I was to prosecute the coons in court and appeared. During this particular shoplifting stop the two female coons were found to be in possession of marijuana. It was a nigger-cop who did the arrest and during the search found a substantial amount of weed. As the coon was leaving the sto' in handcuffs she was read her rights and told the charges of drug possession and theft above 500 dollars (felony).

When I showed to court...the court reporter or judge's assistant was having a hard time finding the case. I told the judge what happened with the stop while they were searching. The Off-u-suh who did the arrest visibly winced when I told the judge about the dope. (I was very close to the judge and implied that the cop had smoked the evidence (in jest)). But, the judge took me seriously and asked the cop what happened to that piece of evidence Officer X??? The coon-cop smacked his lips several times and said he had thrown it away...thought she deserved a break. "Thought she deserved a break"...Judge: "A felony thief deserves a break?"

Anyway, despite the judge's "big talk" she gave the coon only a moderate sentence but at least it will be spending time behind bars where it belongs.

Now, onto bigger and better things. No more loss prevention for me. too much Coontact.

Coontact Tale #1,158 (01-26-2008)

Niggers think they can cut in line

This just happened to me about 20 minutes ago. I was at the school store buying textbooks for my college classes. The lines to check out were LONG because everyone needed to get textbooks since the semester just started. So after waiting in line for about 10 minutes carrying a shitload of books, I hear one of the cashiers go "I can help who's next!"

So I'm clearly the next person in line. I go over to the register, and lo and behold, out of fucking nowhere, this disgusting sheboon runs up and throws some candy on the register and tries to get rung up. Now, keep in mind it was nowhere near the line. It was off to the side, and just runs up and cuts off about 50 people. So the sow cuts in line, is buying shitty food, then suddenly I hear it open its gigantic swollen lips and utter "Oh noes, I be gotz no moneyz, biatch!!!" I guess the school book store doesn't take food stamps.

Then yesterday me and a friend were in the student union just hanging out and talking, where we hear this loud yelling. Sure enough, this hideous "female" nigger is walking through on her cell phone. It's not yelling at the person, it's just talking as though it were in a movie theater trying to watch Welcome Home, Roscoe Jenkins.

I don't even know why these niggers are even in college. How can a creature with an average IQ of 85 get accepted into a university setting? I'm in the top 5 percentile of IQ and I still see niggers making it to senior year.

Coontact Tale #1,159 (01-26-2008)

Gross Nasal Assault

I worked two jobs a few years ago to save enough money for collateral for a home loan. I worked in a convenience store on the 11pm to 7am shift. There was one old silverback nigger who never ever bathed that came in every day. He would buy 2 one dollar lottery tickets, then go in the bathroom to scratch them off and piss all over the floor.

After a week of this, I started locking the bathroom at 12pm because I noticed he got here at 12:30 pm every night. After a few days i got used to the "yobaffroostillbroke?

NO amount of air freshener would get the filthy unwashed nigger stench and putrid nigger ammonia piss smell out of the bathroom. And he wore green work pants and a plaid shirt every day. Same pants, same shirt, with nigger slippers and no socks. I noticed because i could see dirt rings around his neck had blended in with the plaid, and the dirt filth in the creases on his ankles.

I always got a visit from the cops about 2am when the bars closed, and asked one I had been talking with to come in early and see if he could do anything about this nigger, maybe scare him off or get him to go somewhere else, because he just stank so bad I could not take the odor. I mean like rotted flesh and funk, a stench so bad you cannot describe it. It lingered my whole shift, and everyone thought the freezer was broken or something was rotten in the food section.

The cop laughed and said stinking is not a crime, but if he had the time he would slide through and check it out. I promised him free donuts and coffee and he smirked at me, but said he would make it if he could.

The next night the cop came in at 12:30, and asked the nigger for his DL, and when he ran him through the computer, he had outstanding warrants (All related to a DUI\hit and run\resisting arrest...etc...). you should have seen the cops face when he got a whiff of that nigger...lol...he said he was going to smear dogshit on his upper lip to keep from having to smell it the whole ride down town.

See ya nigger.

The cop came back later, and said he filed additional charges against the nigger for being a public nuisance because he stank so bad...lol....So remember...Nigger stink is actually a crime in some areas...

Coontact Tale #1,160 (01-26-2008)

Chinese Buffet

So a couple times a month I frequent a Chinese Seafood Buffet. It's kinda pricey at $17.00 per person. But we are talking Sushi, several kinds of Crab, Giant Gulf Shrimps and about 25 other things. What I am starting to see is more niggers show up at this place, I thought they just liked KFC. I am in there enough that I know some of the staff by name.

So our server is commenting about how I always eat everything on my plate. And it is true, I hate to see food wasted. Especially expensive Sea Food. She proceeds to tell me that she see's some people just waste their food. I said " Like Who ?" She said the black people with an strong Chinese accent. I acted like I could not understand her, and said " The what ? " Again she said something like " The Brack people " Again I said " THE WHAT ?......Finally she caved in an said " THE NIGGERS " and she even said it kind of loud and with no accent whatsoever. It was priceless seeing someone act so natural

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