Omar's Emails Are Bright White

My Emails Are Bright Lime

My Comments, Or The Conversations With Translators, Are In Yellow

Subject: Re: Je suis mentenent a lagos
From: Omar Ntoum
Date: Tue, November 25, 2003 10:02 pm
To: Genitali

Mon Cher Genitali,

je vous ai attendu Areuoport du Lagos aujourd'hui 25/11/003 sans vous voir ce qui s'est produit.

Subject: Re: Je suis mentenent a lagos
From: Omar Ntoum
Date: Tue, November 25, 2003 10:14 pm
To: Genitali

Mon Cher Genitali,

je vous ai attendu Areuoport du Lagos aujourd'hui 25/11/003 sans vous voir ce qui s'est produit.

Translated:

I awaited you Areuoport of Lagos 25/11/003 without you to see today what occurred.

This is very upsetting to everyone.

Subject: Oh my God look at what has happened!
From: "Katrina Peters"
Date: Wed, November 26, 2003 8:33 am
To: Omar
Cc: Holden MeGroin
Priority: Normal

Good morning Omar,

Mr. Cranium called me at home in the middle of the night to tell me of the horrible thing that happened to Genitali at the Heathrow airport yesterday so I logged on to see what had transpired and found the attached newspaper article from last nights paper.

We have been in contact with the police in London and they think other people were involved that have not yet been arrested becasue the money Genitali had has yet to be recovered.

I didn't know if you knew this yet or not and I apologize if I am repeating what someone else said but everyone here is just so upset.

Who would do such a thing?

It is very early in the morning here and I should be going back to bed but I am so upset about this I don't think I can sleep if I did.

In a couple of hours I will call Genitali's wife, Mozzerella, and make enquiry as to Genitali's condition. The hospital would only say he was resting comfortably and they are going to keep him for a few days.

My dear Omar, this is upsetting to me beyond words.

Did someone else get a hold of you or did you know this had happened?

Please write as soon as you can and tell me what you know.

I will write to you again when I get to work so you will know what is going on.

Kind Regards

Katrina
--
Katrina Peters
Vice President Sales
Australian-American Oilator, Ltd.

The bait is now set for Omar to wait for Genitali's replacement to come into Lagos bearing money. The replacement you wonder? Why, it is going to be the Mr. Holden MeGroin who makes the trip but it doesn't look like another flight can be made much before Friday so Omar is just going to have to enjoy Lagos a bit longer.

Katrina can't sleep so she fires off this one.

Subject: I haven't been able to sleep I am so upset!
From: "Katrina Peters"
Date: Wed, November 26, 2003 10:51 am
To: Omar
Priority: Normal

Dear Omar,

What is the name of the motel you are staying at and the phone number so someone from here can call you?

You can also call here(206)xxx-xxxx and use the voice activated switchboard that is working better but not perfect. When asked to leave a message (I hate that thing) ask for me saying clearly "Katrina Peters" two times very clearly. If that doesn't work try to access Holden's desk (that is probably where I will be most of the day) by repeating two or three times "Holden meGroin" and the call should go through.

I am so sorry this happened at this time and you are a sweetheart for being so understanding.

Let me know when you get this.

High Regards,

Katrina -- Katrina Peters Vice President Sales Australian-American Oilator, Ltd.

Subject: Where do the Incident happened in Lagos here or London
From: Omar Ntoum
Date: Wed, November 26, 2003 11:12 am
To: Katrina
Priority: Normal

My dear Katrina,

When I saw your message I was completely confused.

I came to the Lagos Airport yesterday, and waited for Mr Genitali when I learnt that the British Air Ways has arrived but unfortunately I did not see Genitali.

I even went to the Net to send him a little message but no response.

For God who made us I am really surprised to hear this from you.

Therefore kindly advice me on what to do now, of course I am in the state of dilemma.

I am almost stranded in Lagos now, Haha! but I will like to speak with you to be able to know the full story and precisely the position of Mr Genitali now.

Awaiting for your urgent message in return.

Please kindly extent my dear greetings to Mr Genitali.

Omar

Subject: Likewise me my dear Katrina.
From: Omar Ntoum
Date: Wed, November 26, 2003 11:44 am
To: Katrina
Priority: Normal

My dear Katrina,

I am shortage of words, but your humble concern is giving me some kind encouragement.

I am coming every day from Cotonu to Lagos since is a 1 hour drive.

Please if you have mobile phone give me so that I can explain to you my condition now, I don’t even have money to continue paying my hotel bill. Good!

I taught I might not stay more than 3 days outside Gabon.

What will you do now to recover the money?

I am happy that they Criminal have being arrested and God Almighty will punish them for harming a kind Man like Genitali.

Please extend my greeting to the wife. He will surely recover.

I have secured a GSM Carte in Lagos but since I don’t have money with me, I taught of selling it but let me Staved so that you can communicate me through the number Lagos 0 88 xxx

Omar.

Since Omar didn't see the original attachment I sent him a pdf file.

Subject: Here is a copy of the newspaper clipping on what happened!
From: "Katrina Peters"
Date: Wed, November 26, 2003 12:42 pm
To: Omar
Priority: Normal

Here it is Omar.

We heard that Genitali is not doing good at all and might die! Everyone here is crying even Mr. Cranium.

--
Katrina Peters
Vice President Sales
Australian-American Oilator, Ltd.

Read notify tells us Omar opened this email

To: omar
From: Katrina
Subject: Here is a copy of the newspaper clipping on what happened!
Sent on: 26-Nov-03 at 07:43:01am 'America/Texas/Houston' time
1st Open: 26-Nov-03 at 9:21:07am (2hours38mins6secs after sending)
'America/Texas/Houston' time is UTC -6:00
Location: (95%) Lagos, Lagos, Nigeria---- He's There!

As we can see Omar is in Lagos and it has been 40 minutes since he opened the clipping and I have yet to se a response.

What next do you suppose? Oh wait, here it is!

Subject: These Criminals must never go unpurnished. (They won't and you are getting yours now)
From: Omar Ntoum
Date: Wed, November 26, 2003 4:15 pm
To: Katrina
Priority: Normal

My dear Katrina,

How come about and what is the explanation all these.

I really cannot bear it. Because I am here now absolutely confused.

I don’t really know how to describe this awful invent.

Because all these seems confusing when I taught of it long.

Is there any parasite among us in this transaction?

Because before the departure of Mr Genitali he told me that he has a friend who new Nigerians very well and therefore advised him to be very careful to any fund transaction in Lagos because of the insecurity which Mr Genitali has informed in his last mail, so I really don’t know were this parasite mighty come from and for sure some thing is wrong some where.

Please kindly keep me abreast of the time.

But I am seriously praying for him to get well by the power of God.

I await for your prompt response.

I have tried to call you but it was very had in getting you on the telephone.

Omar

A little while later and Gurum Panni attempts to make contact with our Omar.

From: "Gurum Panni"
Date: Wed, November 26, 2003 8:50 pm
To: Omar
Priority: Normal

Dear Omar,

My name is Gurum Panni (pronounced "par-knee")and am the London secretary to Holden MeGroin and I have been trying desparately to call you on your telephone!

I've been trying your telephone number but I keep getting a disconnect tone. I have had an unobtainable tone a couple of times, now getting an engaged tone.

The number I'm trying is:

xx

Please confirm the telephone number I am here to help you!

--
Gurum Panni
Field Account Services

Subject: Any good news?
From: Omar Ntoum
Date: Thu, November 27, 2003 5:09 pm
To: Katrina
Priority: Normal

My dear Katrina,

How are you feeling today? And how is Mr Genitali Health?

Please my dearest not hearing from you daily produces some kind of differences in my Heart. Please Sweet heart. Tell me the cause of your silence on my side. I tried to call you but an answering machine took it over, besides I have left a message.

Please tell me the situations of Mr Genitali, of course I have being praying for his quick recovery.

My dear Katrina, I want to hear from you either by telephone or e-mail.

Please call me on this number: 09xx I am completely STRANDED

I will wait for your call all the Night.

Meanwhile how about our father I know nothing bad has happened again regarding his health.

Your Omar.

Subject: urgent
From: Omar Ntoum
Date: Thu, November 27, 2003 5:25 pm
To:
Priority: Normal

Dear Mr Gurum Panni,

Thanks for your telephone call/e-mail message and concern.

My name is Omar N. Ogbonna. I am newly elected African Sales representative Australian-American OILATOR Ltd.

Please you can get me on this phone 00 234 803 35509xx or give me your number to call you. How about Katrina and Mr Genitali conditions of health?

I have not received any Western Union information as you have informed me on the telephone, as well as the flight schedule of our colleague that will be coming to Abuja.

Even transportation to Abuja is very difficult for me to realize now. Next time he goes on an international trip he needs to take more money!

Please kindly call me any time of the Night or you give me your telephone number I will call you.

Awaiting for your urgent message either by the phone or e-mail,

Omar N. OGBONNA.

I friend of mine (Gurum Panni who can mimic a great Indian accent) who finally managed to get through on the telephone and here, for your entertainment, is a recording of the conversation.

Here is part II (a continuation)

Omar feels much better now!

Subject: urgent
From: Omar Ntoum
Date: Thu, November 27, 2003 5:25 pm
To: Gurum Panni
Priority: Normal

Dear Mr Gurum Panni,

Thanks for your telephone call/e-mail message and concern.

My name is Omar N. Ogbonna. I am newly elected African Sales representative Australian-American OILATOR Ltd.

Please you can get me on this phone 00 234 803 35509xx or give me your number to call you. How about Katrina and Mr Genitali conditions of health?

I have not received any Western Union information as you have informed me on the telephone, as well as the flight schedule of our colleague that will be coming to Abuja.

Even transportation to Abuja is very difficult for me to realize now.

Please kindly call me any time of the Night or you give me your telephone number I will call you.

Awaiting for your urgent message either by the phone or e-mail,

Omar N. OGBONNA

Subject: Re: Any good news?
From: "Katrina Peters"
Date: Thu, November 27, 2003 5:30 pm
To: Omar
Priority: Normal

Hi Omar,

I am glad to say you do not have to travel but meet Mr. MeGroin at the airport in Lagos tomorrow night, Friday the 28th, at 10:00 PM.

I am at my parents house for holiday will call later and I did try once but couldn't get through on your phone.

In the least I will have all flight particulars and a copy of Mr. MeGroin's passport so you know who to meet.

Genitali is doing much better and sends his regards. He got out of the hospital this morning.

Katrina Peters
Vice President Sales
Australian-American Oilator, Ltd.

Subject: Re: Any good news?
From: Omar Ntoum
Date: Fri, November 28, 2003 3:58 pm
To: Katrina
Priority: Normal

My dear Katrina,

Since I have not received any message from your side I still don’t know what to do please advice.

Yours Omar

Subject: Why have being abandon
From: Omar Ntoum
Date: Fri, November 28, 2003 4:36 pm
To: Katrina
Priority: Normal

My dear Katrina,

Why did all members of Iamadilo abandon me in this time I needed your assistance most.

Please write me my dear.

Omar.

Subject: Omar, you must arrive Abuja meeting with Holden!
From: "Richard Cranium"
Date: Fri, November 28, 2003 5:27 pm
To: Omar
Priority: Normal

Omar, you must arrive Abuja meeting with Holden and Mr. Panni, to whom you have spoken on the phone, will send you a copy of Mr. MeGroin's passport (so you can recognize him) and a confirmation of his travel particulars.

Mr. MeGroin will be arriving in Abuja early Monday morning from Heathrow at 5:40 AM so you do not have much time and need to get moving now. This time to Mr. MeGroin will be staying in Abuja for two nights so you have plenty of time to spend with him and resting after your ordeal.

You must be there because putting this trip together on such short notice was extremely difficult as the USA is in the middle of a huge holiday and nobody is working.

Of course Mr. Holden MeGroin can't travel without airline tickets so we obtain set making sure to fax it to Omar.

I personally contacted Mr. Panni and Holden all three working to make this happen for your rescue.

Outbound
Mon 01 Dec 03 British Airways (BA83)
Depart: Heathrow (LHR) 22:15
Arrive: Abuja Int'l (ABV) 05:40 + 1 day(s)
Flight duration: 6:25
Direct flight

Return
Wed 03 Dec 03 British Airways (BA82)
Depart: Abuja Int'l (ABV) 09:25
Arrive: Heathrow (LHR) 15:00
Flight duration: 6:35
Direct flight

Omar, on a personal note, I know this is difficult but it has been difficult here to since Genitali was so brutally mugged at the London airport. It was a huge shock and hurt me terribly as Genitali has been a personal friend of mine for many years.

I know this last leg is going to be very difficult for you but I also view it as a special time for you to show us what you are made of. Selling oilators, while very rewarding, is sometimes very hard work but in selecting you I know we selected the best and you can be there on time.

So, my friend, it is time for you to show us what you are made of!

Best,

Richard

--
Richard Cranium
President & CEO
Australian-American Oilator, Ltd.

Wouldn't you agree what's really needed here is a company song to lift the spirits of our lost sales force?

Be the trooper he is Omar salutes old Dick Head and starts to make his way to Abuja!

Subject: Re: Omar, you must arrive Abuja meeting with Holden!
From: Omar Ntoum
Date: Fri, November 28, 2003 6:18 pm
To: Richard Cranium
Priority: Normal

President Sir,

Thanks for your message and concern.

Really I have no objection on your order.

Let me use this opportunity to thank you for your mutually understanding the God Almighty has putting on you. I am really glad to be appointed an African representative of Australian-American Oilator Ltd.

President Sir, I am ready to sacrifice what so ever (Spiritually, physically and otherwise) to make sure that the image\aim of Australian-American Oilator is achieved in my life time.

This has being already prophesize before I am made manifest in this world.

Therefore I will live no stone ever unturned besides I pray that the same incident that happened to Mr Genitali will never ever happen to any of our member again.

Please thanks for your precious concern on me once again.

Sir, I will be leaving to Abja tomorrow by Road since I cannot afford flight ticket any more. Please Sir, when are you sending the passport copy? just to know whom I am meeting.

Thanks, extend my greetings to your Family, Katrina, Genitali and other members of Australian-American Oilator Ltd.

Omar.

How about that plucky little guy, huh? You are probably wondering why the delay in getting back to Omar but what we were trying to do behind the scenes was set up a meeting between two rival Nigerian gangs at the Lagos airport both set to meet with Holden MeGroin at which time we were hoping to have someone on the ground there to photograph the melee but I am saddaned to report, despite the best efforts of everyone involved, we just weren't able to get it together.

How do we know Omar is in Lagos anyway? Let's see what Readverify has to say about Omar's true location.

The fat bastard is lying to us about having no friends and no money.

Yeah, Omar is indeed in Lagos but the 25% likelihood on the second opening has me a little concerned. I think Omar is having a compatriot in crime look at his email account as well. Perhaps back home in Gabon?

What to do with Omar then? I think he has been stuck in Lagos to long so I let us organize a little side trip to Abuja. I mean, no good reason to just let him sit in Lagos financially broke and all is there?

Here is a map of Nigeria so you can follow along with Omars progressIn the meantime, I have to put together a flight itinerary and passport for Mr. Holden MeGroin.

One hell of a trip isn't it? All I can say is Omar better get his butt out on the road!

For the Omar fan club looking to get their daily fix.

Nothing really happening, and I doubt it will until Monday, but here is the email I sent out with Mr. MeGroins passport photo and flight particulars.

Subject: Omar here is Mr. MeGroins particulars
From: "Gurum Panni"
Date: Sun, November 30, 2003 1:16 am
To: Omar
Priority: Normal

Dear Omar,

We have been working all weekend putting Mr. MeGroins travel to Abuja together and then I remembered you have never met him so I had to track down a copy of Mr. MeGroins passport so you would know him when he steps off the plane.

This was not easy as in America right now they are all not working on a very big holiday where everyone doesn't work.

I am sorry for the very poor quality but on such late notice all I could do is have the office in Australia fax a copy to me which I scanned for you here along with Mr. MeGroins travel particulars.

Where are you now my friend? Are you in Abuja yet? Where will you be staying in Abuja and can you forward the telephone number of the motel you will be staying in very please?

I will be glad when this holiday is over and everyone get backs to work won;t you?

Your friend,

Gurum

--
Gurum Panni
Accounting Services

Ok, Omar has been gone for 48 hours and should be arriving at the capital shortly so I stuffed his mailbox full of emails from concerned people throughout the company.

The "I AM A DILDO" sales team (remember, Omar is a member) is getting in line to help Omar out during his time of trials and tribulations!

But the company has problems with the server and all four emails were garbled like this one from Mr. Cranium! Damn computers, never work when you need them.

Subject: Re: U WWest**ern Union #####siidiuyyyyynt
From: "Richard Cranium"
Date: Sun, November 30, 2003 10:36 pm
To: Omar
Priority: Normal

DQe"B!BEi1EHEB!?(BBKMIJB$EPE`T3],IS-%S9^EIT])S1(]O=3TUZ[R-=9']WPC&^^5W*:9C,/'Q[ TA?*LQ,`'8[IG.XA+\`!9',FZ:%K!P6LXBW,]"LX?("TQJ_/W02N_CDZ$934^OTU\/ZBVZ ..)K9V[D3XB(&PFWB>=C^"U3>#?X0<8PET+;R^7X$#&=.[Y$?I''&,<&PI==6B[#YQ-%5^H DeRar 64Omxr, D+C,Q>&.IU,>8,V

I am plesseeed to let you knowS>DOB$M0V%4)Western Union & :! ..6W#T.&8]O,TO$`4+ _T0 Y9*!I=Q/, GP]5 US$7,500.00 P82YJ The security xx:/x needed as it was sent this morning from Sydney in youH4$UK :4NS25Q1% relax and take a well deserved est........... code required...33.`VA1T%>DI\+S&.-]E_\KW"4 8AM]3 )'[9]C^KS0(BNA!7 C4S^$.#K ($Z>KW\GEX /Q_7" -".Q?'GJ`[]';&QW6(+5%OV9 4#1GO7 .]O:!9&IC:+`B- 7_&G./-U KO]&VRK&^ :J4

E 7D\"5E56%&'?&)R].8?:RY1)XOJ=A*<9L )1];[ZE3 ,@HVPW1-`? :1;F7O F7B+G8Y#`/D3$LO-=!?, ,4P8&Y/,B5E9XA

snip the rest of a very long garbled email because we really do need to do something about our servers.

If you think you have a bad week coming up just imagine how Omar's week is going to go!