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Thread: I be payin' with my simulus

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    Default I be payin' with my simulus

    I BE PAYIN' WITH MY SIMULUS



    Once again, I have another Coontact with a she boon at a grocery store. I don’t know why but niggers stick out like a sore thumb at the grocery store. It’s usually some fat, middle-aged boon dragging her welfare nigglets with her to buy food with an EBT card. Some of them even train their nigglets to shoplift for them as they distract the butcher or store clerk.

    While in the store, I overheard two white women talking about current events and how they each received their stimulus check from the government. For some reason, the nigger was enthralled by their conversation and listening to their every word. Her eyes got more and more buggy and bigger and she seemed genuinely shocked by what she was hearing. You ever watch old horror movies where a nigger janitor sees a ghost in the middle of the night and their eyes get bigger and bigger and their mouth stays open? It was like that. She was shocked by what they were saying.

    “Oh, I got my stimulus alright. I’m doing my shopping with it now. I don’t normally buy steaks and shrimp but why not? My husband and I are splurging a bit," one woman told the other.

    “Ha ha ha. Me too! I think I might buy a new couch or something. I’ve needed one for so long.”

    “Oh go ahead,” she replied, “at least buy some good food with it and enjoy yourself.”

    “I will! You’re right. The stimulus is like free money.”

    When the two women walked away with their carts, the nigger stood still, dumbfounded. After a few minutes of contemplation, she appeared to have a eureka moment. I even heard her mutter, “Well, dayum. I don’t be missin’ out.” She pushed her cart straight to the meat aisle. She loaded up her cart with expensive food, more so than niggers usually do with their welfare cards. Steaks, fried chicken, 12 pack of grape juice, pork rinds, potato chips, pork ribs, bags of frozen chicken nuggets…..it looked like nigger Christmas in April. Way over the top; she wasn’t even looking at prices.

    At the checkout line, I strategically placed myself two spaces behind her as I knew there about to be a Coontact. Nine times out of ten, when a nigger gets up to the cashier, there’s usually some sort of argument or altercation. The nigger was watching the white woman in front of her intently. The same woman who was talking about spending her stimulus money. After her items were scanned she told the cashier, “I’m paying for all this with my stimulus, I finally get to splurge on a little fancy ice cream this time!”

    The cashier laughed, “I did the same thing. After all we’ve been through, you go girl!” They both laughed and after her items were bagged, she paid with her debt card and left.

    Next, it was the nigger's turn. She heaped her crap from her cart onto the conveyor belt one steak and one fried chicken meal after the other. Boxes of Afro-hair products, cheap junk food, cheap soap, about a dozen liquor bottles, and of course - maple bacon. Piles and piles of crap that filled at least 12 bags and piled her cart to the brim. All the while she muttered to herself, "Yeah, that's that chips that I like. Yes sir. Oh yeah, put that maple bacon in there too. That's right....uh huh....put that muddafucka in there...I sure do like that shit, I sure do...." When the bag boy put the last bag into her cart, she grabbed it and started to walk away without paying for it.

    "Maam? Maam! That will be $257 dollars, maam."

    The she boon turned around and said, "Oh that be ok. I be payin' with my simulus."

    "Your what?"

    Her eyes got big and she stopped and turned around looking at the cashier as if she was crazy. "My simulus, muddafucka! I be paying with my simulus!"

    Perplexed, the cashier still thought the nigger just forgot to swipe her card. "Yes, of course, but I think you forgot to swipe your card to pay."

    "What you mean, I gots to swipe my card? I be payin' with my simulus. Everybody else be payin' with their simulus. Why can't I? I be payin with my simulus too."

    The cashier thought for a moment and said, "No maam, the stimulus is a check that the government sends you, you have to cash it and put it in your bank and then use the money to pay for your items. Would you swipe your card please or would you like to pay with cash?"

    "What? You don't be axing none of the others to do all that. Why you be axing me? Because I'm black? You let all the white peoples pay with their simulus but now I can't be paying with my simulus?" The nigger began shaking her belly and bobbing her head from side to side, she was getting more and more agitated. "I ain't be takin' no bullshit now. I be payin' with my simulus and dat be dat muddafucka."

    Other employees of the store noticed that an altercation was about to ensue. One went behind the manager's desk to call the police and two bag boys stood in front of her cart, blocking her from leaving. They've experienced nigger shenanigans before, they knew it was only going to escalate from here on out. The nigger turned to the cashier again, "Oh it's on, muddafucka. It's on! You be blocking my cart? It's on..."

    "Maam, we just need you to pay for your items."

    "I be paying with my SIMULUS! I done told you."

    More employees positioned themselves around the obnoxious nigger to prevent her from leaving. I noticed a police car pulling into the parking lot.

    "You called the po-po? You called the po-po on me cuz' I'm black. You racist white mutherfuckas. Why you let all these white people pay with their simulus but I can't? This be bullshit." (Po-po is nigger slang for police)

    Someone waiting in line called out, "Why don't you just pay with your welfare card? It all comes from white people anyway."

    Oh boy, I thought, here it comes. That really sent the nigger over the top and right before the cops come too. Her body began to tremble and shake, her overstuffed yoga pants were jiggling. "What you say, muddafucka? That be my money! My money for repatriations for your racist bullshit. Don't be tellin' me what I be doing with my money. I wants to pay with my simulus. You see this shit?" She held up a box of Ding Dongs. "This be my shit." She threw it at the line of white people waiting. People were shocked that the nigger was willing to escalate it to another level. Not me, though. I know TNB when I see it. Emboldened by the lack of response, the nigger continued, "Oh it's on now. It's on muddafuckas." She reached into her cart and started tossing the items at the people around her. Potato chip bags, cookie bags, and even cans of grape soda. Each time she threw something, she said, "Here muddafucka. You want one? Here's one."

    Finally, the manager stepped in. "That's enough, leave this store at once and leave the merchandise behind!"

    "I ain't leaving nothing, muddafucka. Get the hell away from me." She picked up the largest item in the cart - a watermelon - and hoisted it over her head. It slipped out of her hands and broke open on the edge of her cart and fell to the floor with a loud SPLAT. Watermelon juice, rinds, and seeds went everywhere. The floor was covered in sticky watermelon goo. The line of people at the cashier including myself were speechless. I don't know about the others but I was speechless in laughter. Actually, I was stunned with laughter at the sight of a 300 pound nigger in yoga pants holding a watermelon over her head because the grocery store won't accept her 'simulus' as payment. Little did I know that she was about to top even that!

    Perfect timing! The cops arrived just after the watermelon broke. "Oh now the po-po be here? Fuck this shit. Y'all be racist." She picked up a roll of aluminum foil and began to swing it back and forth. "They won't let me pay with my simulus because I'm black." She swung the foil tube menancingly at the officers. "You want some of this? I gots some."

    I saw one of the officers take out his taser. The other cop in the front talking to her took out his baton. "Just put the foil down and let's talk about this," the cop with the baton said.

    "We ain't be talking. They be racist. I done paid for my shit with my simulus." She veered back and raised the foil roll to hit the cop in front of her.

    The other cop behind the first one wasn't taking any of her shit. He raised the taser and yelled, "Put it down now or you will be tased!"

    The next ten seconds went by very quickly but it was the best ten seconds of the year for me. I have replayed it in my mind over and over. Many people wonder why police nowadays stay on the job under so much scrutiny and criticism but now I know the answer. It's for moments like these. The nigger raised her hand back to strike the first officer in the head with the aluminium foil roll just as the second cop fired his taser into her fat, bloated belly. The taser sounded like an electrical cord shorting out on a wet rag. BUZZ.....BUZZZ...ZAP....ZAP.....I saw the barbs hit her and stick to her clothes, I also saw little sparks of light at the end of each barb. She was getting the full charge.

    Her eyes bugged out and her body froze for just a moment before it started to shake uncontrollably and hit the ground. SPLAT! She hit the floor belly first and splashed watermelon juice everywhere. The taser's wires were still connected to her on the ground. She tried to roll back over and say, "Mutherfuckaa...." when the cop gave her another shock from the taser. When it hit her, she yelled, "OOOOOOOOOOO-EEEEEEEEE!"

    Again, I heard the buzz of the electrical current go into her. Her fat black, blubbery body shook on the ground like a fish out of water. As the current went into her, the watermelon juice puddle around her sizzled and I actually saw the seeds letting off little puffs of smoke. The electricity must have been set to high, the entire puddle was energized and frying the watermelon seeds.

    I couldn't hold it any longer. I let out a laugh, an uncontrollable belly laugh at the nigger shines in front of me. Then suddenly, other people in line started laughing too. Seeing the nigger flop around on the ground covered in sizzling watermelon juice and seeds was too much to hold in. There were at least a dozen of us all laughing at the dumbass nigger getting what she deserved. The cops rolled her over and cuffed her (had to use two pairs of cuffs for her fat ass) and she staggered up, dripping in watermelon juice to be lead outside and into the police car. She was dazed and just kept muttering, "Racist muddafuckas...." as they took her away. The taser worked perfectly and put her in a sort of daze.

    The fat baboon left a big mess in the store and a trail of watermelon juice leading to the police car. She was still sitting in the back seat when I walked past her with my cart. I couldn't pass up the opportunity. I just couldn't. As I passed her, I held up a package of maple bacon and showed it to her while rubbing my stomach and licking my lips. "Mmmmmmmmmmm...maple bacon......"

    This sent the nigger into a tizzy. Her eyes bugged out again, "You white muddafucka! You go eats that shit and I ain't got me none, go ahead muddafucka. I gets me some real soon....." She started to bang her head against the window of the patrol car as I walked away.

    I heard the cop tell her, "If you don't settle down, you're going to get tased again!" I could only imagine how many times he had to pull over to tase her on the way to the station.


    Tom Shelly
    If you think you can debate a racist and win or prove us wrong, click on the link below:

    http://niggermania.co/tom/niggerargu...umentstext.htm

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  3. #2
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    They probably ran out of taser cartridges by now.
    https://www.bitchute.com/channel/Qu82Z1Ny1ssp/ Johnny Rebel Complete Collection Hosted here.

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  5. #3
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    I laughed so hard just reading this that the wife thought I was having some kind of seizure!!
    Crime statistics prove... a nigger's gonna do what a nigger's gonna do!

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    Tom,

    This is one of the funniest and best coontacts ever... I laughed my butt off.
    It's situations like this that I wish I was in the US experiencing similar coontacts!

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    I wish I was there, Mr Shelly; I would have had a wonderful belly laugh at the nigpanzee's expense, mate.
    Pizza for humans, dirt pizza for nigger animals.

    White Lives Matter!

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  11. #6
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    Yeah, that was thoroughly entertaining!

    I had a similar coontact at the grocery store back around the holidays, but it wasn’t nearly as severe.

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    After all that craziness I bet you had to go home and take a nice relaxing dip in your 38 acre swimming pool!
    "Every record has been destroyed or falsified, every book rewritten, every picture has been repainted, every statue and street building has been renamed, every date has been altered. And the process is continuing day by day and minute by minute. History has stopped. Nothing exists except an endless present in which the party is always right."

    ó George Orwell

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    Yeah; they're just like us. <sarcasm>
    "The Negro is a wise and noble race who carries themselves with a quiet dignity", said no one, ever.

    One day niggers will only be found in museums and fossil beds.

    Give a hungry nigger a fish, you've fed him for a day;
    Let him starve to death and you can forget about him forever.

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    Dat was racist! Good! Let the White Supreme forever be!
    Pizza for humans, dirt pizza for nigger animals.

    White Lives Matter!

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  19. #10
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    Great story.

    A few decades back this would have been satire played out in a Monty Python sketch.

    Now the comedy has become reality.

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